Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.

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volcanicash
volcanicash
Nothing I do works. I think I'm going to have to carry around this angry forever.

I broke a glass today.

I showed them the letter. They said they'd have to wait until the social worker is coming and discuss it but in the meanstime it would be nice if I could talk to them. What the FUCK? Have they no backbone? I NEED to see my daughter. I don't understand don't they REALISE if I could actually see her and hold her and kiss her I might actually start to feel better?

It hurts a lot worse than before I had Arielle. Parts of me that were always hurt. That got cut off and mutilated by my step dad. And other stuff just. It's not working. I'm so ashamed I hate my body. It feels like it's shutting down just like my voice and my mind.
patti22
patti22
When you say that you're not talking...what do you mean? Like not a word at all? Do you talk in school?
arfie
arfie
Gentlest of validation, Ashley. Patience don't come easy when we are in pain. Unfortunately, babies need more patience than any other creatures on the planet.

Small steps, big faith and lots of prayer.

Keep venting.
aliceunchained87
aliceunchained87
I know you don't want to participate if you can't see your daughter, but from their point of view if you want to see her, you need to participate. Maybe trying to participate would make them more likely to let you see her? You can fake it until you make it (if that makes sense)...?
volcanicash
volcanicash
No. I can't say anything. And the longer I stay silent the harder it is to speak. But it's already too hard when nobody will help me be less angry. I want THEM to realise their mistakes and admit to emotional blackmail and for ONCE a grown up admit to being in the wrong.

Like that will EVER happen.
aspiesarah2
aspiesarah2
I know it's really hard Ashley but if u go around smashing stuff and being angry they won't let I see your baby. I know how very hard it is but u need to start talking the more u do the more likely they will see u as being responsible to see ur child. Have u asked them if u can have therapy? I think it'd help a great deal.
volcanicash
volcanicash
No. It's somebody else's turn to compromise now. I've had enough of doing what everyone wants me to. If they won't take me to see Arielle, I will take myself.
patti22
patti22
Hey Ashley, I've spent the last 2 days thinking of you and unable to log on. First ((((HUGS)))) Second, I really really do understand, but I also know that it's too much for the baby to be your only reason to speak or live. NONE of this is fair. NONE. Third: YOU, YOU Ashley...YOU are worth it. Just as much as Arielle is. YOU are worth living for. You are worth talking for. You are worth healing. You are as much a 'child of the universe' as anyone else out there (including me, including my daughter, including my son)! I know it's hard. My heart is with you!
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