Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I quit my job!
I hated the tiny paycheck, mom's got my back, but...I quit my job! Holy crap! I've really thrown myself into a sink or swim situation!
I needed to get the heck out of tiny-check land, but yeesh...
Anyway...PAAAAAANIC!!!!
...I keep hiding under the bedcovers and the world is still there...just as big and bad and scary as when I went to sleep...
Now I am in countdown for a long-ass stay in England, too, to try to (a) get head on somewhat straighter, and (b) spend time with my guy, see if we really work together as well as we seemed to from the first trip...Mom ( again, taking money my evil uncle never claimed) paid for the tix tonight. Thank you, mom.
Argh! I took Benadryl to chill, this only worked so much.
Mom had to come over here, I was too wigged out to go over there. It gets really chaotic at mom's house. Mom thinks my place is chaotic with clutter? She has PEOPLE. BABIES. IN HER HOUSE. Swear to gawd I would end up rocking in a closet if I tried to live with any of them... Too loud! Too loud! They shout! The TV is always freaking ON! GAAAH!
...yeah, reproducing's a baaaaad idea for me.
...I get less scared in actual life-threatening situations than when something goes wrong or there are too many people. When I got attacked by 2 dogs, one of which bit a hole in my leg( and then died, thank goodness i already had had my rabies shots...) I was far less terrified than I am about, say, going to college? Getting a better job?
Thoughts of hanging myself off of something keep popping into my head, that's a panic reaction for me.
Sadly, my guy moneygrammed me money, and I freaked out about that, really hard. i have not picked it up yet. He got very hurt about that.
I just keep seeing grubby stacks of bills. They were handed to my dad from hands that had dirt driven into them? From work? Itchy, hard, scratchy hands. Those men. Those hands.
I was sold. I don't like typing that out. I don't know how many men paid to have access to us. .I don't know names. I don't know if it's real.
It's not real. Maybe. Maybe. Then why does getting a gift of money from the guy who is in love with us terrify us?
We in my head think we are making it all up. We are stupid, stupid, stupid. We think this stuff is real. No. We are just dumb little brats. Stupid. Selfish. So very sorry we still exist.
Just trying to get attention, stupid little brat. Fat fat fat, disgusting little brat.
I hated the tiny paycheck, mom's got my back, but...I quit my job! Holy crap! I've really thrown myself into a sink or swim situation!
I needed to get the heck out of tiny-check land, but yeesh...
Anyway...PAAAAAANIC!!!!
...I keep hiding under the bedcovers and the world is still there...just as big and bad and scary as when I went to sleep...
Now I am in countdown for a long-ass stay in England, too, to try to (a) get head on somewhat straighter, and (b) spend time with my guy, see if we really work together as well as we seemed to from the first trip...Mom ( again, taking money my evil uncle never claimed) paid for the tix tonight. Thank you, mom.
Argh! I took Benadryl to chill, this only worked so much.
Mom had to come over here, I was too wigged out to go over there. It gets really chaotic at mom's house. Mom thinks my place is chaotic with clutter? She has PEOPLE. BABIES. IN HER HOUSE. Swear to gawd I would end up rocking in a closet if I tried to live with any of them... Too loud! Too loud! They shout! The TV is always freaking ON! GAAAH!
...yeah, reproducing's a baaaaad idea for me.
...I get less scared in actual life-threatening situations than when something goes wrong or there are too many people. When I got attacked by 2 dogs, one of which bit a hole in my leg( and then died, thank goodness i already had had my rabies shots...) I was far less terrified than I am about, say, going to college? Getting a better job?
Thoughts of hanging myself off of something keep popping into my head, that's a panic reaction for me.
Sadly, my guy moneygrammed me money, and I freaked out about that, really hard. i have not picked it up yet. He got very hurt about that.
I just keep seeing grubby stacks of bills. They were handed to my dad from hands that had dirt driven into them? From work? Itchy, hard, scratchy hands. Those men. Those hands.
I was sold. I don't like typing that out. I don't know how many men paid to have access to us. .I don't know names. I don't know if it's real.
It's not real. Maybe. Maybe. Then why does getting a gift of money from the guy who is in love with us terrify us?
We in my head think we are making it all up. We are stupid, stupid, stupid. We think this stuff is real. No. We are just dumb little brats. Stupid. Selfish. So very sorry we still exist.
Just trying to get attention, stupid little brat. Fat fat fat, disgusting little brat.
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Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
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My day...today...misplaced my debit card...didn't realize it until I got to the register after shopping to a full cart. Used a different debit card and pulled apart everything looking for missing debit card before I left parking lot. Got home, dropped keys. So now I have a missing debit card, missing keys. A full cartload to unload and put away. I got everything put away.Dumped purse for a...
If your job stressed you out that much than it is good you quit knowing you have someone who has your back. Things are going to be ok. If its okay I would love to give your little one's a big safe hug..
Your back is got, your icky job is gone, and after this understandable panic eases up a bit? You'll probably sleep for two weeks and wake up going, "Wow, don't miss that a dang bit."
As for moneygram, hey, that's a super-sweet thing for him to do, and if you explain how your PTSD is seeing it, I think he'll understand.
We do.
And we are so very glad you do exist.
Gentlest healing and peace to you....
The major way the C-PTSD manifests itself in my case is .... a kind of fear. There are all kinds of serious (ie, some are life-threatening) medical issues going on that HAVE to be treated, but ... based on an ever-worsening trajectory of serious drug reactions -- the last one near-fatal -- the docs have no idea what to do.
MEANING (sorry. Wordy, today) .... every next move I can possibly think of that MIGHT improve my circumstance .... is a HUGE leap of faith, marked by HUGE and serious risk.
And I've been loath to let go.
You're letting go. You've LET go.
It's scary $h1t.
I applaud and admire you for pushing past the worst of the fear and actually doing it.
Keep breathing. In all seriousness. Keep breathing. I'm quite sure you're going to be okay.
I just hope England is a pure win for you. You deserve it.
Steadying support, blue. . . Be gentle with yourself.
You did a good thing and you're going to be fine : ).
I'm getting attacked by a kitten. She chomped on my thumb. Love hurts.
For me it was a 12 pack.
A for the money gram ask for it in a money order, and deposit it on a debitcard, use as you need.
I was very afraid of college, but with the help on my therapist and my friends here I am in my second year. It took a lot of WD forty and xanax, most days, hat and glasses, but I am passing.
Some of us here think he will kill us. Some of us wish he would kill us. Some of us know we don't deserve a good guy like him.
Strictly personal. . .
Stabilizing support while you sort your own strictly personals, blue.
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