Not a fan of pain, but... it is a sad truth we sometimes only learn when pain occurs, and pain occurs easily and often, so we have a lot of chances to educate ourselves on what comes from the whole twisty mess... For me, anyway.

Given my choice, I avoid pain at all cost. Lord knows I certainly put allot of effort into pain evasion. Alas, I have come to believe I have suffered more pain trying to avoid pain than I would have suffered just letting myself feel it from the get-go.

Reaching for the consolation?

There's this really rare condition where people are born unable to feel any physical pain. (Congenital something or other.) Anyway, the problem the people have if they feel no pain? They never respond to stimuli. Burns, broken bones, injuries go unfelt, unnoticed, and therefore untreated and unhealed. They feel no fear of pain, so do not fear falling out of trees or being struck.... And it's bad for their overall well-being.

I remember thinking once, Wow, that'd be nice. Then I realized that if they never feel pain, they never learn to avoid pain-causing things like fire. Bad idea. They don't even get an adrenaline rush from the prospect of falling out of a tree because they know it won't hurt, so they don't get the fight-flight-fright response.

Avoidance to a point works. Then it just leads to a backlog. FOr me, anyway. No idea why that other stuff came out of my head, just did.

"it worth the price? A life without love hurts, too. "
Sadly and mightily...Yes.

I spend much time trying to avoid pain. It leads to anxiety and depression for me. I have never learned how to just "let things happen." I sure wish I knew how. My husband is great at it, but he does not have PTSD either.

I have learned some things from pain, but only much time after it's happened. I feel like I hold my breath through the whole thing.

The other nasty places which trying to avoid pain can lead to would be the very first thing I learned down this path, Ida. In my personal case, the anxiety tends to bleed into erratic behavior far more often than depression. I had judicial help in making the decision to learn better ways to deal with it. . . A matter of Public Safety. . . That was way back in the late 20th Century.

As I progressed in learning how to work through it, I began to realize that pain has more functions than just making its victims miserable. As Leo pointed out, physical pain alerts us to injury and infection. More and more, I believe that is true of emotional pain, as well. The emotional pain alerts me to injury and infection in my psyche.

I am healing from a love of a lifetime,, I have had my share and someone elses of relationship woes some real good some just love addiction ,,, I am not proud of the last one at least that it was an affair I have a bottom line about that but I knew this person for 20 years ,, and it was complicated she is closeted and a doctor the pain of letting her go back to the closet is so bad and she is in pain because of the cost of coming out would be monumental it would be nice if she was loved unconditionally but she isn't our generation is a ratnest of closet cases due to shame social progress and lets face it homophobia not to hijack your post my point is I fit with her after 60 years of no matches for every category ,, I feel sorry for her hubby and the pain he has to come to terms with,, I wish I never ever knew but she is gayer than a nine dollar bill not a bi or what ever it is very sad at our age, I let it go and I will not allow anyone in I am going to be alone and it is painful ,, indeed but not as painful as knowing you are gay and being trapped in that horrible closet at least I will endure the pain knowing I faced coming out years ago and faced the pain of being me ,,, somehow there is satisfaction in that I love my dog I love my God I love many things in life teaching career but nobody will I grieve and hurt for more than someone who is my soul mate was my friend for years and now ,,,, social pressure back to a dark place only she can find her way out of ,,, and for me recovery and wellness have to take its place pain is I guess what we make it,,, if I die tomorrow I will think of one legacy teaching and that will define me and cover any boo boos I made along the way, great post my 2 cents

I don't see any hijacking going on, freed. Add your 2 cents worth to my 2 cents and we still need another contributor to buy a piece of gum. . . Does pain come any sadder than that? sigh. . .

Healing hopes, freed. May the pain lead you to the spaces in need of healing. Loss of love is a tough pain to heal.

Alas, the cultural healing doesn't come as ***easy?*** as individual healing. The homophobia is only one of entirely too many of our cultural illnesses. . . Most of us are here because of one or another of those cultural dysfunctions.