Compassion/empathetic

This is one of the hardest things for me .... anything good about me never seems right

This reminds me of a homework assignment my therapist gave me shortly after I started seeng her. She had me ask 3 friends and 3 coworkers to describe me with one word. The answers I got were "knight, knight, honorable, loyal, stalwart, and clown". She just wanted me to see that the way I view myself is much worse than the world sees me.

I think my best quality other than my blinding good looks (j/k) is my will power. It is what gets me up every morning for work, what helps me make it through the workday, and makes it possible for me to be the best I can at being a husband and father.

Nerdy!

This is exactly the kind of thing my therapist makes me do. I hate it so uncomfortable, but I think I can actually do it now. When I first started I could not because to me it seemed like I was bragging or thinking I was better than others. Now I know that is not the case, so here goes.

I am a loyal compassionate friend to those who are close to me. There is not many, but I would help them out of anything day or night, come get them, or sit and hold their hand if I made them feel better during a tough time.

The ability to forgive and still l

After all that's gone down and all that's gone on, somehow through decades of full body baths marinating in acid cynicism, hypocrisy, disappointment, betrayal, lies, disillusionment, and loss upon loss:

I've still got heart.

I know, what the --? But it's true.

Keep it quiet. It's almost embarrassing.

I don't know where it comes from, because I come from generations of cold heartless bastards for ancestors on both sides of my family. They ripped each other off, sold each other out, beat each other, molested each other, lied to each other, cheated on each other, gave each others' kids up for adoption via foster care, deserted the military rather than do their duty, and even gave each other sexually transmitted diseases.

And that's just my dad's side of the family. On my mom's side the list is even longer.

Plus, I grew up in a civil war overseas in which everybody went nuts and tried to off their neighbor instead of getting along. When they couldn't kill their neighbor, they tortured their neighbor, which happened to me.

But there you have it.

What can I tell ya.

So yay.

no idea really?

A stranger whom I never met before came up to me one day and said, "I sense a woman who is incredibly resilient. I really respect that." One of the weirdest moments of my life, but it stuck with me. I've been to hell and back, and every time I fall down, I get back up with a fight. I'm incredibly resilient.

i have been told by so many people that being around me is comforting. they love the sound of my voice and the way i smell. even animals. i have this exotic charmer quality. people feel safe with me. i can't tell you how many midnight confessions i've heard.

the opposite of that is my B*tch Bubble. when i am really really not in the mood to be bothered, especially out in public with big crowds, i have this bubble that i can use. it is funny to watch as people just get the urge to move away from me very very quickly. it usually gives me about a 3ft all around space.

those are my faves. but my best quality has to be my preference to just be realistic about everything. not the gloomy realistic mind you. just the very simple honest reality that it is what it is that it is. a square peg is a square peg and an orange is not a cell phone.

It's great to hear that people find your presence offline to be comforting, DG, because your online presence here has been a comfort for me, to be sure. Thanks.

thank you Muji

Good parent.

I care.

brat