I’m making dinner and wanting to put my hand in the hot pan. Won’t. But I want to. Stuck my head in the freezer instead. Didn’t help.

how about grip an ice cube and don't let go?
sorry u feel so bad.

I hope you feel better after eating the dinner. There is no space right now in my freezer; otherwise, I may try. It sounds like a good idea! One of my cats likes going inside the refrigerator (the lower part). I wish I felt angry instead of sad and powerless. I hope you can do something that helps you calm down and have a peaceful night tonight.

I know these feelings. I've done that. So you have told use the symptoms of your rage and self-hatred. What is the cause? If you can't name the cause you will never get better and if can not correct the cause you never get better. So what is the cause?

Hi Marah, I hope you feel better after dinner, too. Sometimes I'm more frustrated with life when I haven't eaten in a while.

Is there some justice you need to pursue (that your anger is directing you toward)?

Recovery takes time. It's not fair. Usually it's someone else's fault to begin with and you end up doing the work. If the FaceTime-ing is what's triggering you is it possible to cut back on it? (Just wondering)..

Hey. It's okay to be angry as long as you don't hurt yourself or anyone else. Wanting it to stop is *normal*. Thing is, as we get through this weird thing called life? We can't forget that there's *hope*. I often find that anger leads to crying I realllllly neede to do, but was scared to let out, b/c the crying... Well, it sucks, too. but crying can be healing...

Just an idea.

Puma support.

It's been dark for me to teach death and dying classes to nursing students for 9 years straight every day, Marah. I don't recommend it.

However, since it involves teaching the stages of grief, talking about such a sad thing every day has been useful to my PTSD recovery. The 5 stages of grief in Kubler Ross are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.

Talking to students every day for 9 years is a way I got reminded constantly that anger and depression are ok, they are not failures, they are stages on the path to acceptance. Not happiness, just acceptance--me accepting me just the way I am.

As Leo says here, it's OK to be angry without hurting yourself or anybody else. Your anger is righteous.

It' OK to be depressed without hurting yourself or anybody else. Your depression comes right before your self acceptance.

The problem is that our society tells us to shut up, not to voice our anger and that depression isn't reasonable. But there are reasons we're angry here, there are reasons we're depressed here. Things happened to us that should not happen to people.

I think teaching death and dying classes for 9 years has served one main purpose, and that's been to drill into me day after day that anger and depression are OK after all. They are needed to get to accepting what does on in this life.

Again, as Leo says, wanting this to stop is normal. What else are we supposed to do?