I’m new to the group, I’m reaching out because I feel like I’m basically going crazy! I was suffering trauma from having an abortion and then raped few months after it happened by someone I know. It is getting so bad, it keeps replaying and I feel so so so sick. I knew the person and I’m so hurt and angry esp as he said it was consensual when it was not and I tried to say no multiple times. Everyone turned there back on me over it. I am devestated and I also have weird physical symptoms since then and get itching and burning really bad, the only test pos is hpv and I’m constantly checking for warts as I feel I know I’m going to get them and so worried as I don’t think I could live with getting something like that from that person. I had no control. I’ve never been more humiliated and violated and then after telling people I was ridiculed, shamed and blamed for it happening. I hit my lowest point on New Years actually being so suicidal, I’m doing better and want to move on with my life but can’t seem to. It’s been three months and this has ruined my relationship with my children’s dad, ruined our chance of being a family again, potentially ruined my body for a long time. There’s no justice, the crimes people haven’t even ringed me back and obvs he will never be charged with jack all. How people can do this to people and affect there life and then just walk off and live their lives and get defended by everyone makes me one of the saddest person