I think I have always been a night owl. I work a day job though and I have worked the 7 to 3 shift when I had to. The thing that has helped me most is using a CPAP. I no longer feel like crap when I wake up.

Your friend made a thoughtless comment. Maybe she isn't really a morning person either and has to get up early. I am sorry she hurt you. Many people don't understand us night owls.

Nellie I used to be a morning person, loved to get up with a warm cup of coffee and enjoy the peace before the rest of the house woke up in a rush to get ready for school and work. I would get up as early as 4am to get in a little pottery work.

Now that I no longer work due to physical damage after a car accident, actually not the first one, my sleeping habits are way different. The children have moved out so just me and my spouse. No work to attend, no schools for children to be sent to, so alarms are my foe. hiss. I stay up way too late, not due to any drugs, just because I love the peace and my alone time. My spouse goes to sleep hours before so I have nighttime to myself and I seem to be stretching this farther and farther as I enjoy the time so much.

I'm not sure what is wrong with it, as long as you get enough sleep to remain healthy it shouldn't matter the time of day. And the fact that you work evenings and nights would only assist you in keeping the same sleeping patterns. Given your work schedule it would probably do more damage to your body to switch it back and forth depending on days you did or didn't work.

I agree with Cecil that your friend was thoughtless in her comment. She may have been tired and let that affect her reaction or been in a bad mood, but it was thoughtless regardless. I hope you can shrug it off as her ignorance rather than your issue.

Btw, midnight would be early for me lol. hoot hoot.

I work full time, and it is very difficult. On the weekends, I can sleep on and off all day. It seems like I can never get enough sleep.

I've had a ton of medical tests done, I supplement, I'm on meds for anxiety/depression, and I try to get some healthy activity into my week. I don't know what's wrong.

It's just so damn hard. I get it. Everyone has their armchair ideas and it seems everyone thinks there's a simple solution. It's annoying. No one understands.

I'm sorry you were hurt.

i was one of those armchair advice givers tolerance :)
Squeege suffered her whole life from insomnia, i just didn't understand. It pretty much killed her in the end, she would go days without sleep while working full time. I know enough to know i don't get it.
sleep not normally a problem for me i work full time in the bush and i'm physically exhausted by days end although since she died i now sleep from 3am til 7am. I think routine and exercise is your best chance but i know from watching squeege some people have a medical condition and thats a whole different story

Well I have messed up sleep too. Sometimes getting 1 to 2 hours sleep. No matter what I try. Going to sleep early and waking up early. Or going to sleep late waking up early and forcing myself to stay awake all day. Still the less sleep I get the better I feel. If I get 6-8 hours I am a mess. As for you do not feel so down about her comment at least you can work and enjoy what you do some of us would love to work even part time. Take care.

I think your friend is a bit jealous. This happens when people see what we have but have no idea what we've gone through to get it or maintain it.

I don't blame you for being hurt. We would like our friends to wish the best for us and celebrate our successes, not get jealous and snarky. But it is a fact of life that this happens. It has happened with me many times. I am afraid for people to know about the good things in my life, even here on DS.

Now you know how far you can trust this friend. You can still be friends with her if you choose but know her limitations. Maybe you could even tell her she hurt you, and point out that you work a night shift, and maybe even tell her what a triumph it is for you to be able to succeed at this job. I don't know if that would be a good idea or not - I can't tell because relationships are not my forte.

Above all, know that we understand and appreciate how you've struggled in life. Who cares what that woman thinks? You have a situation that works for you, where you are able to give to others. You deserve no less! I'm very happy for you!

I am a hard-wired morning person. Whatever hour the sun rises, I .wake in time ti watch the dawn. On the other end of the day, I get sleepy with twilight. Throw insomnia into the mix and it gets seriously weird, but if I fall asleep 20 minutes before sunrise, I will still wake for the dawn.

And yet I find myself continually surrounded by night owls (those art circles) who take my personal rhythms as a criticism of their night rhythms. They read my twilight yawns as a criticism of their witty entertainment. Not so. We are simply wired differently.

Just be true to yourself and pass on the same privileges to others.

I think you are doing VERY WELL and I think no one is in a position to judge you. My daughter would stay up until 4AM and get up at 3PM. I worried, yes; but, for her, struggling with her illness, the internet friends were all she had and they mostly lived on the West Coast. Never once did I judge her for it.

You actually can function in the world...you have that job and you're good at it. You also repeat that you have peace in your life and that makes me so happy. You are doing what is best for you. REAL support is non-judgmental; REAL love is unconditional.

I would try to give both of you (you AND your friend) a pass on this one.

She was tired. Her comment sure sounds like it was rooted more in "Boy, could *I* use a few more hours of sleep !" than it was in anything you did or didn't do.

I can understand why it hurt you, but it doesn't seem like that was the intention.

I've had to learn to let a LOT of stuff go with friends and family -- particularly the "thoughtless" things that well-meaning people can so EASILY say when it comes to "invisible diseases" (like .... PTSD or my chemically burned eyeballs).

I'm glad you are as functional as you are. Be proud :-)

from my own experience, lots of people like to try to make others feel like they're lazy or something for sleeping until noon or so.
and people freak out if you stay up super late because it's different.
i find that it's really really easy to freak people out.
if i go to bed at 5 a.m., what's wrong with sleeping until noon?
and whose business is it anyway?
seems all of life is a pissing contest.
some people need to feel like they are the winner and everyone else is the loser.
once i realized that and refused to play the game, i stopped getting bothered by it so much. it's just natural animal instinct. and unfortunately some humans have not evolved beyond basic animal instincts.
sometimes we just need more sleep.
that's okay.
i know i sleep more sometimes for lots of reasons.
when i am depressed.
when i am sick.
when i need to catch up on sleep.
sorry this happened to you.
warm safe hugs to you :)

I think this person was not being mindful... And I think that you are doing very well...you have a job that works for you and you are on a routine...!!! You are sleeping, working, and feeling stable... Whatever the reason this lady said this to you, IT WAS NOT PERSONAL...!!! This is her own projection of reality, and it has nothing to do with you...!! !

I was an insomniac my entire life... So yes I understand... It has only been 1 year since I started to sleep at night and wake up in the morning.... A serious trauma caused this dramatic change in life style. But before this I was a night owl and I get what that is like... You are not alone...!!!

Hey Nellie.

I agree that she was rude and probably didnt even realize how mean it sounded.

Please continue to do what suits you Nellie! Try not to worry about being like others or what they think. YOU are an original. =)

I wish I had felt this way in my younger years, but at least now, I can say that I could care less what somebody else thinks of me or anything in my life. I dont want to "fit in" and be like everybody else.

You have a lot of support here and I hope you can continue just being you and never making excuses for that!

thank you everyone for your warmth and support. I did write an email to my friend saying I got hurt, and she wrote back saying she still loves me, and doesn't think I'm lazy. She then explained why she's so tired - working all day, helping out with cats, at the age of 75. Where she lives, there's heaps of cats that a few women have accumulated - all stays and cruelty cases.
Thanks again everyone. I do feel like a freak, the way I sleep so late, so that's why my friend's comment struck a chord.
I'm very lucky to have a job that fits in with my sleeping patterns.

Some just function better later in the day.

Maybe do her a little favor? Like make an extra plate at your mealtime and drop it to her after she's out of work. So she can just enjoy food that she doesn't have to cook? Or make some midnight brownies and hang some on her door?

At 75...I bet she is tired...I'll know in 20 years for sure...if I'm not still in school.