Sleep has been fragile here in my psych-trigger-filled grief for the unsung poet brother who shared much of my childhood trauma in the Kiddie Whorehouse life. I haven't been remembering any of the dreams which have woken me, but I find myself wondering if they would have been nightmares in the more reactive years of my youth. Have I built a tolerance against nightmares? Somewhat like one builds tolerances for meds, drugs, etcetera, etceteri.
Am I making sense? Thoughts? Borrowed theories? Reality checks?
I still haven't made it out of the isolation of the job site. The echoes are pretty loud. Spinning my proverbial wheels pretty hard.
Anyone else find that the morning are the most anxious time for them? I was having a better night yesterday. I was able to eat which I haven't been in days. Went to sleep to awake at 3 am with the stomach issues o have been having. Tossing and turning all night long with stomach pain and anxiety. I feel Like I don't want to get up because who wants to deal with this but I also can't sleep....
Now that we have been locked in quarantine for a long period, I know I have spent more time cleaning things out, looking in and about the house and in doing so have found some treasures that I though I had lost. One thing I lost was a cat pin with a dangling tail given to me by an Aunt who I lived with for several years during a difficult time in my childhood. My Aunt passed when I was 16, I...