this year hasn't been too bad. i have finally started hanging out w/friends again, i am doing well at work, and i am succeeding in school. on new years eve, i "put out into the universe", i am ready for a boyfriend and to date. then, who do i see on facebook, but an ex. he has a history of alcohol abuse, manic depression, and is completely emtionally unavailable. i am searching for the  answer as to why the universe put him back in my life. 

with PTSD, i still get those aweful flashbacks of situations that made me uncomfortable. i literally cringe when i get these flashbacks.  i thought i was supposed to forgive the people i had these interactions with. but am i supposed to be forgiving myself? allowing myself to make mistakes? god for bid i don't do everything perfectly !!!!! 

are these flashbacks about me or the person i had the interaction with?