Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I am new to the site; new to the group; new to all of this. I sit here and try to find the courage to reach out to others and I find myself falling apart. I feel sad, guilty, weak, and burdensome.
I was the victim of a head-on collision in January 2013. A 22-year old took a handful of pills (Methadone and Xanax) while also smoking pot and decided to get behind the wheel doing 65 MPH. I was on my way home from work at 10 o' clock at night and never had the chance to respond. His car came flying down the road into my lane and all I remember is seeing the headlights, hearing myself scream, feeling the pain, and waking up.
I walked away from the accident - Thank God, but the journey that has followed has been dark and confusing. I spent the first year focused on staying positive and attempting to recover physically. At first, I assumed I would simply return to work after three months of rehab but after more and more time went by; not only did I find out how extreme physical injuries were but worse - I realized the accident caused mental issues.
Though I've suffered from depression throughout my life; I've always been able to manage it. Whenever life seemed "too hard" or I experienced a traumatic event; generally I would find myself in a "funk for a week or up to a month or two at the most. But this was different.... this started out as sadness, anger, and a mix of a million other emotions, but mostly confusion. Honestly, I thought I would just push through, be strong, like I always have been. Not this time... WHY?
About nine months after the accident I had back surgery and found myself in a tailspin of emotions (from the anesthesia, I believe). I started pulling myself together the following January (2014) but in March something happened and the only way I can describe it is this - THE BOTTOM FELL OUT!
Things had not been easy at all for the first year after the accident but mostly I was focused on physical recovery and staying positive. But after March 2014 the anxiety became unbearable, the darkness became overwhelming, and with every passing day things just got worse and worse. My memory, long and short, is practically nonexistent. I have suffered from IED (intermittent explosive disorder) in the past but had it under control until this point. Irritability, sadness, suicidal thoughts, hopelessness, insecurity, anger, confusion, scattered thoughts, and so much more.
I have recently seen a Psychiatrist and a counselor and found out that "yes" I have PTSD. What's crazy to me is that a car accident could cause such a thing (call me naive) and that it could trigger 40 years of darkness that I had buried. I am here because I am hoping to find people who understand what I am going through - because I do not understand and I feel like I will never get to the other side of this.
I was the victim of a head-on collision in January 2013. A 22-year old took a handful of pills (Methadone and Xanax) while also smoking pot and decided to get behind the wheel doing 65 MPH. I was on my way home from work at 10 o' clock at night and never had the chance to respond. His car came flying down the road into my lane and all I remember is seeing the headlights, hearing myself scream, feeling the pain, and waking up.
I walked away from the accident - Thank God, but the journey that has followed has been dark and confusing. I spent the first year focused on staying positive and attempting to recover physically. At first, I assumed I would simply return to work after three months of rehab but after more and more time went by; not only did I find out how extreme physical injuries were but worse - I realized the accident caused mental issues.
Though I've suffered from depression throughout my life; I've always been able to manage it. Whenever life seemed "too hard" or I experienced a traumatic event; generally I would find myself in a "funk for a week or up to a month or two at the most. But this was different.... this started out as sadness, anger, and a mix of a million other emotions, but mostly confusion. Honestly, I thought I would just push through, be strong, like I always have been. Not this time... WHY?
About nine months after the accident I had back surgery and found myself in a tailspin of emotions (from the anesthesia, I believe). I started pulling myself together the following January (2014) but in March something happened and the only way I can describe it is this - THE BOTTOM FELL OUT!
Things had not been easy at all for the first year after the accident but mostly I was focused on physical recovery and staying positive. But after March 2014 the anxiety became unbearable, the darkness became overwhelming, and with every passing day things just got worse and worse. My memory, long and short, is practically nonexistent. I have suffered from IED (intermittent explosive disorder) in the past but had it under control until this point. Irritability, sadness, suicidal thoughts, hopelessness, insecurity, anger, confusion, scattered thoughts, and so much more.
I have recently seen a Psychiatrist and a counselor and found out that "yes" I have PTSD. What's crazy to me is that a car accident could cause such a thing (call me naive) and that it could trigger 40 years of darkness that I had buried. I am here because I am hoping to find people who understand what I am going through - because I do not understand and I feel like I will never get to the other side of this.
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Lately I've been feeling scared and full of anxiety. I recently found a lump under my nipple. I hurt my back too. I'm in the process of moving. I'm run down. Everything is hard
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Just wanted to give a thank you to Mid, Arfie, Malibumark, Greeneyes, Mlro, Girlincalif, and Suncloudjd! You all always have such helpful tips and advice, but I always forget to write on my posts when I see you post, lol. I would lose my head if it wasn't attached to my body, lol. Thank you all so much! I'm starting to use my AI app as a sounding board again. I used to use it as that before...
So sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here, jl. Pull up a chair and type a spell. At the very least, you will find you are not alone. At best??? Healing happens. It can happen to you.
Your story and mine are somewhat similar. Though I had a classic PTSD_inducing childhood, I'd suppressed enough to function and not realize consciously a lot of what happened.
in 2011, I had a bad fall. I have permanent damage from it, physically, and had to re-learn to walk. Year one was pain, recovery, exhaustion. Year two was more recovery, and then the PTSD from that fall was born. It unleashed all the old demons from the mental closet, and wham. My bottom fell out, I ended up in an ER, and that's that. It often happens like that, I'm told---a later trauma brings back earlier ones, or exacerbates existing problems. It's typical, from what my shrink and therapist have said.
We've said it here many times, and my psychiatrist and many website definitions say it also: ANY TRAUMA can cause PTSD. Car accidents, bad falls, abuse, military service, being an ER nurse and exposure to trauma secondhand, beinh a civilian in a war zone, witnessing traumatic events (e.g., 9/11), it's just all trauma.
With meds, therapy, and work, I'm seeing light at the end of the tunnel. I still am very bad at leaving my safety zone (home) but am better about a lot else. And don't worry about time periods for recovery. It takes what it takes. Nobody can set a schedule for it.
Purrs o welcome and support,
Leo
I developed PTSD...from my job related to PTSD research, who would have thought? There's so many ways it can happen, but as others have said healing is possible and were all on this journey towards healing together. :)
Leox3 - I've come to the realization that my childhood was definitely a precursor to my PTSD. I thought I had control over it all and would for the rest of my life.....
i tell my ptsd to go away leave me alone take a hike , im not crazy it works , my memories is horrible . hugs welcome min
My therapy network -of which DS is only one part- is far more helpful for my recovery work. The fact that we share similar injuries and issues keeps empathy and insights high while the anonymity and lack of personal involvement keeps the risk low.
The good news is that you have started to get help for it and that is great. The sooner after the trauma you get help the better. It will help in your recovery.
There is lot of information on PTSD here. I hope you find some helpful information. Ask your psych about Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) treatment, it seems to be the gold standard in treating PTSD. There might be a program running in your area you could get into.
I do understand the shock of all the mixed feelings, confusion and not feeling like yourself. Then finding out you have PTSD is a huge slap in the face. Shocking does not even seem to cover it eh?
There is hope, never give up hope.
Give yourself the space, the time. We're here.