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Trust and if to trust or not seems to be prevalent on the board lately. I have not replied to most of these. My point of view seems to be too much in the other direction. So I thought I would work out my thoughts on the subject. Feel free to take this discussion anywhere you want!!! Left field and friendly disagreements are welcome!
Trust, I was raised with a slightly different definition that most people today. If it is right or not, it is how I view it. Trust is knowing how something or someone react. I trust that the step will hold my weight. I trust that my collie will bark hysterically when the wild kittens are playing on the deck. I trust that my daughter will promise the moon, but only deliver on about 1/3 of what she has promised. I trust that she has crap taste in men. I trust that everyone I meet will eventually trigger my panic attacks. I trust that when we click, my horse is the best therapy EVER.
With this definition, I trust most people and things.
Do I trust that a certain person will be exactly what I want or need at all times? Heck NO! Even my hubby of almost 30 years, though he is my best friend and my best help, often falls short. Does his falling short make him untrustworthy? Heck NO! He tries to be there and be perfect. Without him I would be lost.
Do I trust my horse to be wonderful every time? I could wish it, but he has his own emotions and good and bad days. When his bad days meet with my good days, we are fine. When his bad days match my bad days, I ride my daughter's horse.
Do I trust my daughter's horse? Yes, but the question is what do I trust her to do? I trust that she will not try to get me off her back. That she will in fact try to keep me on her back. Does that mean she will do what I say? Nope. She is not fully trained and can be a handful. I can ride her only because I TRUST that she will not take me off.
Do I trust my friend's horse? NOPE! Not at all. She may consider him the go to horse to toss beginner riders on, but I have seen him buck when he does not want to do something. I have seen him rear and strike at a human being when the herd was in distress. I don't know how he is going to react under pressure so with my physical health failing, I can't work with him.
LOL, and to make everyone who knows horses laugh, do I trust my horse to act predictably about getting into a horse trailer? YES. Does predictably mean he will jump right in? Nope, it means that under set circumstances I can expect the same reaction each and every time. If another horse is in the trailer and it is a slant or stock type trailer (very open) I can flip the lead line over his back and point him at the trailer to load himself.
Now, if we take that same trailer and he is the first or only horse to go in? It will take making him go in circles for up to 20 minutes to get him in that trailer
A strait load two horse trailer? My horse is not going in that. The last time we manged to get him in one took SIX HOURS!!!
As for people... I don't like ME if I don't give people the benefit of the doubt that they will do what I think is the right thing. Do I often get hurt because of this? Yup. Does that stop me from giving the next person that chance? Not in the least. I LIKE to help people. I can't help them if I don't think they will do what is right. For me, choosing to trust everyone, at least to a certain degree, is what makes life worth living.
yadlim
Trust, I was raised with a slightly different definition that most people today. If it is right or not, it is how I view it. Trust is knowing how something or someone react. I trust that the step will hold my weight. I trust that my collie will bark hysterically when the wild kittens are playing on the deck. I trust that my daughter will promise the moon, but only deliver on about 1/3 of what she has promised. I trust that she has crap taste in men. I trust that everyone I meet will eventually trigger my panic attacks. I trust that when we click, my horse is the best therapy EVER.
With this definition, I trust most people and things.
Do I trust that a certain person will be exactly what I want or need at all times? Heck NO! Even my hubby of almost 30 years, though he is my best friend and my best help, often falls short. Does his falling short make him untrustworthy? Heck NO! He tries to be there and be perfect. Without him I would be lost.
Do I trust my horse to be wonderful every time? I could wish it, but he has his own emotions and good and bad days. When his bad days meet with my good days, we are fine. When his bad days match my bad days, I ride my daughter's horse.
Do I trust my daughter's horse? Yes, but the question is what do I trust her to do? I trust that she will not try to get me off her back. That she will in fact try to keep me on her back. Does that mean she will do what I say? Nope. She is not fully trained and can be a handful. I can ride her only because I TRUST that she will not take me off.
Do I trust my friend's horse? NOPE! Not at all. She may consider him the go to horse to toss beginner riders on, but I have seen him buck when he does not want to do something. I have seen him rear and strike at a human being when the herd was in distress. I don't know how he is going to react under pressure so with my physical health failing, I can't work with him.
LOL, and to make everyone who knows horses laugh, do I trust my horse to act predictably about getting into a horse trailer? YES. Does predictably mean he will jump right in? Nope, it means that under set circumstances I can expect the same reaction each and every time. If another horse is in the trailer and it is a slant or stock type trailer (very open) I can flip the lead line over his back and point him at the trailer to load himself.
Now, if we take that same trailer and he is the first or only horse to go in? It will take making him go in circles for up to 20 minutes to get him in that trailer
A strait load two horse trailer? My horse is not going in that. The last time we manged to get him in one took SIX HOURS!!!
As for people... I don't like ME if I don't give people the benefit of the doubt that they will do what I think is the right thing. Do I often get hurt because of this? Yup. Does that stop me from giving the next person that chance? Not in the least. I LIKE to help people. I can't help them if I don't think they will do what is right. For me, choosing to trust everyone, at least to a certain degree, is what makes life worth living.
yadlim
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Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
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My day...today...misplaced my debit card...didn't realize it until I got to the register after shopping to a full cart. Used a different debit card and pulled apart everything looking for missing debit card before I left parking lot. Got home, dropped keys. So now I have a missing debit card, missing keys. A full cartload to unload and put away. I got everything put away.Dumped purse for a...
I so agree with that last point... giving people the benefit of doubt, living with openness to the possibility of being, HAPPILY, surprised... Those moments when someone does something kind or amazing are very special moments!
I wish so desperately I could give the next person that chance, but if I do its not without extreme reservation and hyper vigilance. It also depends on the trust issue. Trust can sometimes be confused with expectations and habits of a person or person(s) in my experience
I like how you wrote this, it makes a lot of sense.
Even after 34 years with my beloved, I still do not trust him unconditionally, unless we are counting the times I unconditionally trust him to fuck up. Vice versa. I am not good at everything, either. On and on through all my relationships in life. I generally don't trust my doctor to fix my car, either, but you never know.
Plus, on my sappy side, I believe it is better to trust many and be deceived than to doubt one heart that is true. ~Wish I knew who I stole that from
"Better trust all and be deceived,
And weep that trust, and that deceiving,
Than doubt one heart that, if believed,
Had blessed one's life with true believing.
Oh, in this mocking world, too fast
The doubting fiend o'ertakes our youth!
Better be cheated to the last,
Than loose the blessed hope of truth."
Well said. Trust does have its rewards, definitely. I trust my students more than I used to, and it's been very rewarding and enriching, yes.