Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I posted here yesterday to prepare for a GI doc appointment Friday to find where my internal bleeding is coming from. But I had to cancel it today because that will have to wait. I'll take the iron pills for the anemia a while longer instead.
Because I got a call from my regular doc saying my MRI last Wednesday didn't show good results. Chronic kidney disease took away my PTSD meds, but it also took away my ability to exercise and gave me neuropathy's nerve damage in my legs instead. Now my spine is degenerating and the MRI shows I have two bulging disks in my lower back.
They hurt and are the reason I walk with a cane at age 56 now. I can't take meds for back pain because, you guessed it, I have chronic kidney damage, which started all of the physical deterioration in the first place. Which came from PTSD meds. Catch 22. If I took any pills for pain, it could put me over the line into dialysis for my kidneys, and then it's a countdown to a kidney transplant or else.
I know that, but I'm getting worn down by the pain. I meditate and do positive thinking and make sure never to miss work. I'm speaking at a church this Sunday. I stay active.
But the pain and not getting relief from it ever is getting to me. I just got over a kidney infection. And getting more medical bad news like today's phone call from my doc is getting old. Sucking up the courage unwitnessed to summon the 3 or 4 hours of wherewithal for face the pain between getting home from work and bedtime alone in the evenings is hard.
Oh, well. I've got to find a way to cope without PTSD meds or pain meds. Just saying.
Because I got a call from my regular doc saying my MRI last Wednesday didn't show good results. Chronic kidney disease took away my PTSD meds, but it also took away my ability to exercise and gave me neuropathy's nerve damage in my legs instead. Now my spine is degenerating and the MRI shows I have two bulging disks in my lower back.
They hurt and are the reason I walk with a cane at age 56 now. I can't take meds for back pain because, you guessed it, I have chronic kidney damage, which started all of the physical deterioration in the first place. Which came from PTSD meds. Catch 22. If I took any pills for pain, it could put me over the line into dialysis for my kidneys, and then it's a countdown to a kidney transplant or else.
I know that, but I'm getting worn down by the pain. I meditate and do positive thinking and make sure never to miss work. I'm speaking at a church this Sunday. I stay active.
But the pain and not getting relief from it ever is getting to me. I just got over a kidney infection. And getting more medical bad news like today's phone call from my doc is getting old. Sucking up the courage unwitnessed to summon the 3 or 4 hours of wherewithal for face the pain between getting home from work and bedtime alone in the evenings is hard.
Oh, well. I've got to find a way to cope without PTSD meds or pain meds. Just saying.
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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First, I hope everyone is doing well, and continuing to fight that good fight! Keep up the great work on yourselves; I'm rooting for all of you!So, I started doing therapy at the beginning of the year, when I was in my most depressed state, but with my therapist, I made big changes and steps in the right direction. But, over a month ago, she couldn't take my insurance anymore, and I had to stop...
...I seem to have developed NSAID sensitivity now. I take ibuprofen and my lungs lock up, and this probably includes all the other NSAIDs.
Annoying. I'm getting to be an old fart and now I can only take Tylenol. That barely does anything.
Keep plugging, we'e here for you:-)
Had some takers among the students in the classroom who participated, but a noticeable bit of texting and cell phones and ignoring the whole thing, too. It got to me a little more because it was a little more tiring to put the class together and then put it on.
Oh, well. I teach the same class tomorrow to another group of students, bells and whistles and Youtubes and all. Maybe I'll beat the texting and cell phones tomorrow. Afterwards, I have a long committee meeting.
I find myself rationing my energy more in this old farthood with the kidneys and the bulging disks and anemia and all. Any tips on that are most welcome. :-)
Pay lots and lots of attention to the self care, muji.
The students who chose to be present are the most important ones as they know what's up. The others not so much. And yes lots of attention to your self care my friend. I'm still learning how to accomplish that one.
I believe it to be kind of a tough love thing, but half ass backwards! But my point is, like arfie pointed out, those people cannot matter to you as long as you do not matter to them. Get it?! (I confused myself!)
Carpe diem, not Carpe iPhone!
Muji, those who wish to get something out of the class besides a mark on a transcript? Are those who will. The rest? Isn't there a parable about seeds, rocky ground, etc.? Well, not to mess with the classics, but take a look at any given sidewalk, street, or rock face. Once it's weathered a bit, seeds take. That seems to be the way it works.
OK, now I'm confused... *sigh*
It was great, because we were finishing the Kubler Ross book on Death and Dying, talking about that meaningful silence beyond words at the end. The students really showed respect for that idea. I was proud of them.
Then, even though my college committee meeting got ridiculous with faculty debating whether "internet" should be spelled with a capital "I" or a little "i", we did get out EARLY for once. AH, blessed Saturday off now......
Thank you, everybody. I just had to get past the disappointment of Thursday to enjoy the success of Friday. Goes to show: you never know.