Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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My anxiety is through the roof this morning. Youngest son is working hubs for ??? his entitlements ??? Hubs is okay with being worked. He went off to the office with jokes about it being his turn to be, "The Good Cop." My turn to be, "The Bad Cop." Perfect job for, "The Monster-in-Law."
My current anxieties run from the two-on-one-with-a-baby-screaming-in-the-background scenario of the MIL/DIL blowout. I still don't know what the husband-and-wife team were screaming about. Hearing issues. Their adult screams were outside my attenuation range. Their screamed points came through garbled. For the most part, their words sounded like they were coming from a cement mixer. Babies cry well within my attenuation range. I heard and understood his communications just fine. Every desperate cry. Still don't know which of my best guesses turned me into The Monster-in-Law in the minds of the parental units. I am not sure it really matters.
Within the family dynamics, another parental gang bang is not likely at this stage. The next step in the cycle would be what I call, "Gift Wrapped Bullshit." This is where we "Forgive and Forget" and make believe the carousel has stopped turning. We can use wishes and ideals to keep it from ever happening again. And Santa Clause is the one who leaves all those credit card purchases under the tree. . .
For now, I am simply using the mindfulness exercises I learned in the ACT workshops. Step One was the personal inventory which identified that I am feeling high levels of anxiety this morning. Step Two was summarizing the current trigger sequence. This is Step Three. I am sharing it within my support network and asking for reality checks and/or thoughts born of personal experience.
I.F. my ifs are in alignment, the next step is to simply keep it on my intellectual radar and see where it takes me.
Thank you for being you in my life.
My current anxieties run from the two-on-one-with-a-baby-screaming-in-the-background scenario of the MIL/DIL blowout. I still don't know what the husband-and-wife team were screaming about. Hearing issues. Their adult screams were outside my attenuation range. Their screamed points came through garbled. For the most part, their words sounded like they were coming from a cement mixer. Babies cry well within my attenuation range. I heard and understood his communications just fine. Every desperate cry. Still don't know which of my best guesses turned me into The Monster-in-Law in the minds of the parental units. I am not sure it really matters.
Within the family dynamics, another parental gang bang is not likely at this stage. The next step in the cycle would be what I call, "Gift Wrapped Bullshit." This is where we "Forgive and Forget" and make believe the carousel has stopped turning. We can use wishes and ideals to keep it from ever happening again. And Santa Clause is the one who leaves all those credit card purchases under the tree. . .
For now, I am simply using the mindfulness exercises I learned in the ACT workshops. Step One was the personal inventory which identified that I am feeling high levels of anxiety this morning. Step Two was summarizing the current trigger sequence. This is Step Three. I am sharing it within my support network and asking for reality checks and/or thoughts born of personal experience.
I.F. my ifs are in alignment, the next step is to simply keep it on my intellectual radar and see where it takes me.
Thank you for being you in my life.
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
Here's a Youtube Mindfulness Meditation link, in case you're interested, arfie. Mind you, by the way, I'm not a Buddhist nor any kiind of expert. It just worked for me with my PTSD in the first years of my dx.
"Soft-spoken Mindfulness Meditation"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_eff3xt8CU
I am still trying to sort the alphabet soup my damaged memory has made of my 43 years of therapy. 60's style "Transcendental Meditation" could -possibly- qualify as my first effective therapy tool. That same therapy thread seems to be highly present in the VA ACT workshops which have helped me so much.
This week's brain fart from the alphabet soup (ply gas mask, if needed) has me wanting to call the 19th century Transcendentalists, "American Freud's." Freud, himself, was not a licensed psychologist, either.