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i just got back from a vacay trip with hub-a-lub and our 3 foster kids, ages 12, 10 and 7. a splendid time was had by all, but it sure feels good to be home. tomorrow we leave for a birthday party a six hour drive away. the birthday party is for my husband's younger brother. he is in the end stages of huntington's disease. every party could be his last.
whew. . . that is a wide range of feelings to process. i'm feeling the tug of my old tendencies to start wishing i didn't have to. today's meditation from "meditations for people who worry" is helping me ease up and seems worth the positive reinforcement of sharing.
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worry is the thinking part of anxiety ~amy h berger
i wonder what would happen if we just stuck with the anxiety? anxiety is a feeling and, in general, i have come to believe that feelings are our friends. feelings let us know where we are in time and space and often the only clues we really have about who and where we are.
there are no such things as "negative feelings." it is what we do with feelings that makes them negative.
for example, to we often feel anxiety in relation our children. if we did not care, we would not feel anxiety. the problem comes when we move from our guts and hearts to our brains. if we just sit with feelings we are having in our hearts and our guts, we usually discover that while the anxiety we are feeling may be triggered by our children, it often has something to do with issues that have been unresolved in us. our children and their issues only provide us with the door to walk through to our own healing.
when i focus on others, i may be trying to avoid what's going on with me.
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just sharing. hope you feel free to share, as well. just hoping
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
I've only seen someone with Huntington's once
It's a terrible disease
My heart goes out to you and your family
I hope that you're able to have a happy celebration tomorrow
I'll say a prayer
I sure hear you re worry
I had a pdoc once say to me..'you are a worrywart'
And I am...I try and turn it off
I think getting older and all of the losses have taken a toll
Accepting what I cannot change isn't always easy
I'm a work in progress
Safe trip and a blessing sent sweetie...xo
One thing I learned in recovery is that when I stopped trying to run from uncomfortable feelings, they often became my teachers. Anxiety has usually been pointing me toward something in myself that needs healing, even when I was convinced it was about someone or something else.
I can only imagine the mix of emotions you must be carrying right now, the joy of a wonderful trip, the comfort of being home, and the sadness of knowing each gathering with your brother-in-law is precious.
Your quote reminded me that feelings themselves are not the enemy. Sometimes they are simply invitations to sit quietly with what is in our hearts and to meet it with compassion.
Wishing you safe travels, meaningful moments with family, and the grace to be present for whatever this journey brings....Hugs
yes, it is a miserable fate, but i solidly admire my brother-in-law and his wife for the way they have handled the affair. they have become the superstars of hdsa (huntington's disease society of america). his parent's handled the misfortune with super denial to the bitter end. "bitter" is an understatement, but these two took the proverbial bull by the horns and have looked quite impressive doing so. even so, this is the last surviving member of hubby's birth family. it's rough going for him.
i share that experience that the uncomfortable feelings lead me to wounds in need of healing. trying to run from them only complicated the problem. i have since come to view my emotions as a highly advanced and intricate monitoring system. they warn me of many things from good stuff worthy of developing to clear and present danger.
one of the weird spots i have found in the negative feelings as teachers is those lessons often have layers. kinda like an onion. every layer has its tears.
And you're right I may have seen it and not been aware
I think it's worse than Parkinson's to tell you the truth
It's great that they're doing the best that they can...xo