because a good hillbilly fam does not turn on its own.... myd ad's survivng sibs went after his vilest sister in CIVIL court after she starved their brother -and hers- over a period of years till the $$$ saved for him by my grampa was gone.... thens he let him die. he had a mental intellectual issues os could not care for himself, hence grampa saving hundreds of thousands for his care for when grampa was gone....
CIVIL court.
For YEARS, they went after her in civil court.
NEVER calling the POLICE about the abuse because good hill folk do not turn their own i to the cops. no, they SUE them... to get her take off grampas estate and them in charge of that $$$ - and incidentally my uncle who could not fend for himself....

i had not been in contact with ANY since dad died some ten years earlier....

tehy sent a PRIVATE investigator to find me!!!! A nd harassed me via phone, mail, email, PI, for years.... until said uncle died....

i was not even told he died till a month after

they told me that since my dad would have had custody of the disabled bro, it was up to ME to stand up i court and get THEM control of this mess....

i said over and over CALL THE POLICE.

no. that would be wrong...

i gave up the guilt they played on two years after my unk died, only to learn vilest aunt had done much else.... and they even came to a funeral on my mom's side to try to see if i would sue vilest aunt with them for.... ?!?!? i did not listen. nor have i since. i have ONE relative on that side to whom I speak... via email only....

it still boggles my mind.... i lived 450 miles away so could only report secondhand to copa so was helpless.....

a freaking PI at my door aski g me to be a good character witness for them.... OMG....

muji, may not match your fam for persistence but this is why i am so glad they are outta my life!

sorry for typos, my ipad is glitchy at best. dad had eight sibs, so.... it was vilest sis in charge of disabled baby bro, with all others against her, ostensibly about her abuse, probably really the $$$, and then disabled bro died, autospy showed long term malnutrition and worse, but hey, never turn your own fam over to cops.... WTF?!

How did you know my family was of hillbilly origins? I'm not kidding. From the West Viriginia line. I was raised in South America, but that's who they are. A clan that won't quit.

You wrote "sent a PRIVATE investigator to find me." I know. Stalking as "love," huh?

Isn't "manipulative abuser" redundant?

Stories to tell? Yes, but they are not good ones because I get the same abuse from an abusive ex and several stalkers. What they attempt to get other people to contact me has put me on constant alert.
I will not allow people to approach at all, because the stalkers will attempt to befriend and even sleep with anyone that might be in contact with me.
Fiction is stranger than the truth.

I mean truth is stranger than fiction. Gosh darned spoonerism again.

Muji, my fam's from just up the road from West Virginia---Pittsburgh-ish area is as close as I'll bother saying---since 1740s and they ain't budged. (Are we possibly interbred on that side? I just assume yes.) And the only dang diff between a Yankee hillbilly and a SOuthern one is.... the Northern version doesn't say "y'all". That's it.

Yep, nothing like a PI at the door to say "We love ya. Really. Now give us something."....

ARGH.

And how bad is it? Well, my randomly assigned colleg eroommate one year turne dout to be a second cousin. Really? ARGH.

I'm feeling ya, Muji.

No, arfie, I don't think manipulative abuser is redundant.

I've tried to keep an open mind about how not all manipulation is abusive. Advertising tries to persuade me to buy soap with manipulative ads all day long. I find that to be business, not abuse. Teachers try to sell students on learning. It's ok. Preachers deliver sermons on Sundays, with services with songs chosen sung by choirs, all to create an atmosphere to persuade.

Manipulation with the sole purpose of destruction is different, and that is abuse.

Leo, the other end of West Virginia to my family, who are from the bottom of the state--in every way. :-)

ah, guns, God, and some good old fashioned white ligtning, and if you aren't miserable enough, try some meth and hydorcodone.... and blame the feds whose checks you cash while you sing hallelujah about your hates because some twosted up bible verse allegedly affirms god wants ya to...

i have nothing against God, but throw the rest of that in and it gets dicey, IMHO.

let those who without sin cast the first stone.... and how fast they wing that sucker, lest someone suspect their sins, is how my fam works. Bleah.

Sorry, off topic. But the use of God to screw up heads was tried and true on my dads side. irony, since moms is hard core catholic!

Not all manipulation is abusive, but all the abusers in my own life are highly manipulative.

But that is me... Dynamics can vary in important ways.

Sorry for not adding the disclaimer.

I have a similar story, but it's not good, because it's not ended. The relationship is cut off, but I still need all the money he stole from me. Let the money go? I'll be sick and crippled for the rest of my life, which won't be too long. So......I don't have this mastered. I wish I did and it was all over. I'm glad you did it. I'm glad you're you.

If you get a restraining order, they say right in them that the person restrained cannot use someone else to harass you. Have you tried that?

For awhile my grandpa was like this. Calling incessantly, letting himself in my house to yell at me if I wouldn't answer, etc. It's taken years but he's left me alone for the most part. I still have contact w my family but I keep it at a minimum. They have behaved much better but there's still the occasional inappropriate, abusive comment.

Ugh! Sorry to hear they are still trying to needle you. I don't have any story to tell. I have the opposite issue with my family. They pretty much don't bother to contact me...except the one who abused me. Oddly enough he is the one who checks to see if I am still alive.

Cec, it got my attention that the only family member who contacts you is your abuser. And to check and see if you're still alive? That's a new one on me.

Agent, wow, you really were stalked. In your HOUSE. Geez.

I went to an attorney about these guys and got my boss and HR notified, since they're only trying to stalk me through work alone. Everyone at work knows, so my lawyer hasn't stepped it up to a restraining order. Thanks for the advice. He will if they try to go beyond work.