Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
The recent anxieties over whether or not Daddy Oil Bucks is going to permit the continuation of the bee experiment have me flirting at the trail head of the judgmental path. From his stellar start selling the family farm to the parenting by executive memo which still gives my beloved husband nightmares to his environmental callousness to...
When I pick up my judge's gavel I can bang more enthusiastically than a made for TV judge. I even have the validation of published judgements. In my more honest moments I can admit that I sure do enjoy cavorting in my judge's robe... I imagine it to be more dignified and authoritative than my Super Crusader Cape. My imaginary bailiffs are all so mean and nasty looking that they don't need guns. One look from their beady eyes will wilt the nastiest offender.
As I typed this, my finger-pointing meditation has floated to my mind. It is based on the old cliche that when I point the finger at someone else, there are three fingers pointed back at me. In the meditation, I visualize the offending party in a chair in front of me. Sometimes I place a picture of them in the chair to help with the visualization. I proceed to "let them have it." No holds barred. It helps me to focus the issue. I then raise my hand, ever so slightly, to meditate upon the three fingers pointed back at me. There is where I find my solutions.
Guess I'll do the do. Reality checks welcome.
When I pick up my judge's gavel I can bang more enthusiastically than a made for TV judge. I even have the validation of published judgements. In my more honest moments I can admit that I sure do enjoy cavorting in my judge's robe... I imagine it to be more dignified and authoritative than my Super Crusader Cape. My imaginary bailiffs are all so mean and nasty looking that they don't need guns. One look from their beady eyes will wilt the nastiest offender.
As I typed this, my finger-pointing meditation has floated to my mind. It is based on the old cliche that when I point the finger at someone else, there are three fingers pointed back at me. In the meditation, I visualize the offending party in a chair in front of me. Sometimes I place a picture of them in the chair to help with the visualization. I proceed to "let them have it." No holds barred. It helps me to focus the issue. I then raise my hand, ever so slightly, to meditate upon the three fingers pointed back at me. There is where I find my solutions.
Guess I'll do the do. Reality checks welcome.
-
I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
-
Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
And as much as I encourage your holding your horses on judging, Daddy Oil Bucks sounds cartoony, like Scrooge McDuck or something, parenting by executive memo. What a bore.
Much support to you and hopes for good bee time soon.
May I ask?
Are you really judging him or are you expressing anger toward his behaviors? I ask because there's a difference, to me, and if I'm judging, it's usually something in the other person that I dislike in *me* that triggers it--- or a triggering similarity to an abuser --- it's about 50-50. Once I realize that, yeah, time to think and reflect and sometimes cringe through the realization (ow) or to take it down a notch by remembering this other person is not abusing me, etc....
And are you phrasing this as "You, sir, are a guilty soul!" or "I think you're a piece of bleep for XYZ"? Both are judging, but there's some differences between them--- the absolute statement, and the opinion. To me, if it's those absolutes, that's a warning sign I'm realllly dealing with something that's a pattern in *me* and *my* life or thinking--- when I'm more like "I think" or "I feel", it's about the moment, and less about permanence.
It's about the only dang thing I remember from Spanish, but it's like the diff between the two forms of "to be": "ser" (as in "I am this" is unchanging, e.g. I am brown-eyed) and estar (as in "I am this" but it's something that can change, e.g, I am cold) THat may be all wrong, so ignore it if it is. Hubby is not available for help with this--- and he is pretty good at espanol, whereas I am absolutamente merda at it.
So.... I guess for me, where I go for reality and what I need to check depends on that....
Gentle support and hugs, and I hpe that my ramble did not offend or confuse....
Point being--- anger is not without cause and reason when it comes to this person--- I picture him like Daddy Warbucks in Annie, only he burns down the orphanage and kicks the dog....
May the bees hum in peace,
Leo