even the animals are sad and abandoning me... never thought that could happen ever but it is

I've been declined service by at least 4 businesses who were okay with me which I need and its just the beginning... my enemies have nailed me down this time

you know right you already know all this right... everyone I talk to already knows I am fucked... its a village, the world is a village

Take a deep breath in and out. U sound like ur panicking. I dont know ur story so i dont know what else to say but try breath calm and try calm down. Ur none what u say u are.

man I've lost my brains and my luck
I have reason to panic
I'm not going to succeed without my grandma around they've incinerated her

U have ur own set of brains. U are still just as intelligent without her.

well no because 2 heads are better than one and I lost her blessings and love she had for me and she was keeping my relatives and world in check without her I;m at worlds mercy they're treating me like a total piece of shit. I can't remember half the shit I used to when she was alive and my parents have totally crossed their boundaries and will enslave me for life. I dont have the brains to work anymore... my intellect is 60% gone since she died I got the brains from her n it went with her gone

Can i ask what age range u are?

Before you commit suicide talk to me or Aspieconfusion she seems to want to help you we'll see if one of us can make things better

I dont see the point in living a punishment for the rest of my life. its not like I have a suicide method which is a shame. hey I never was one to quit life but sometimes when you're doomed you have to give up or else just suffer and suffer for the one bad thing you did in a moment of agony. the suffering I have faced in the last three days or four days is the worst I have ever faced in my life and its only going to get worse. I did the crime now I'm doing the time. but the people who as usual pushed me into it are laughing their asses off and winning and got away with it because making someone do a crime isn't a crime but doing a crime is one. my life is fucking ruined

I feel so clueless like a computer without a hard drive ... can't remember or reason well this is what happens when you get played like a fool by people who are going to gain off your losses.

I'm not making any sense am I? its because I've lost the ability to communicate and remember and reason. I cant live like this I hate being dumb...

my grandma was protecting me from my parents but I didnt realize it... they have totally turned on me after she died and its never going to change plus I cant even reason my way through this because I've lost that reasoning ability

already I feel like I'm in prison being raped and spat on by the others

my age? fuck I was just about to make something of my life and also improve the fucking world and then then happened... I've been trying to succeed for the last 20 years or more and its all been ruined in 10 days... I dont know the big fuss over suicide I mean if your finished your finished dont force someone to live a painful life right? I've been turned into that which I despised a death worshipper, a nazi and a joker. it really hurts. I'm not strong enough to come back from this without my grandmother... what a horrible month it had been with the extreme heat and the fasting "festival" and toxic parents... I dont want to get banned off of here but all of it led to my demise... shit I'm a living corpse right now with no way out at least if I kill myself I wont have to suffer for life...

I cant commit suicide I'm not sure if things might improve but being dumb sure sucks compared to being smart and it happened overnight so I dont think thinks will improve but I dont have the wits and courage and means to even end my miserable life... I mean even people in prison are more resourceful than me and manage to end their lives... is it my fucking fault my parents never loved or guided me properly and I made some huge judgment errors

worst thing is I've lost my sex drive too and I dont think any girl would want a dumbass like me unless she has ulterior motives

its really sad you know because I wouldn't call life sacred but it can be so much fun if you dont fuck your own life and others' lives up after being made into a victim by abusive people

I'm rambling who wants to live like this, like a dumb dip shit whose lost his brains and all his support worldwide.... I fought so hard against such horrible forces of evil and got destroyed like this over night

I hated the fucking fuhrer but I've been turned into one

all I can say is I feel like Macbeth and Lady Macbeth after they killed someone times infinity... I guess this is what can happen if your mom keeps asking the question why wont he die and keeps praying for me to die... I have died... that murder is okay... its okay when she pushes me over the edge daily... now she wont even support me to become independent

god I am a fuck up I had so much potential and I did a lot of good things but nothing ever worked out... I feel like I'm on death row you know but its implicit everyone around me has changed people are looking at me like I'm shit... I cant bear a lifetime of this

my mom has stopped talking to me and so has my dad

I have no other support

earlier I was thinking about how people ruined my life but there was hope I would make a comeback but now its death row for doing something I deeply regret... its funny how others can get away with pushing me over the edge but I cant get away with anything... not like what I did is something trivial... my life is ruined ruined... I've turned into a zombie what I hated the most... Bottom line is time is running out and I have no suicide method

thanks trump and others for fucking my life up and thanks me for being such a tool for devils pwned by them... I can think of so many bad things I did unknowingly that helped bad people get a better life

better to kill yourself than live homeless and without the respect of others

thing is now I fear others earlier they feared me so I've lost all liberty

I wish I had a way to kill myself but I know they'd then just cremate me and spray my ashes over a river but I wanted to be buried which this family wont ever allow especially now that my grandmother is dead

you understand how I feel I have been orphaned... orphaned !!!! I wasn't self sufficient yet I was getting there I've had a horrible life

it is fucking hard to kill yourself fucking hard but I have to because I dont see the situation improving... life is so fucking tragic and unfair lost all my gains in one bad month and was supposed to leave this place now the world is so shit because a good lady has died... great going devils and demons great going fucking trashed my life and got away with it

I think they're going to ban me

I think actually being locked up might be better than the virtual lockdown I've been placed under at least then the world could see whats going on

I'm sorry I'm afraid I will be judged if I tell my age range no one knows what I have been through

U cant just turn dumb over night. It sounds as if ur over the age of 20. Can you not build a life for urself away from ur parents?

Good morning, you seem very articulate, upset but articulate, so the brain in your head does work.

You say you are "orphaned but you are not, you may feel abandoned but your parents breathe...that's a big distinction.
It sounds like your grandmother was supportive of you? and you are missing her terribly. We all will pass at some point, nobody lives forever and if they are loved we grieve the loss, that's a normal reaction.
Is this the first time you have been on your own? It's not easy but it is doable.
If the crime has been already charged get a public defender and make an appointment with a councilor as soon as possible. First time offenders don't usually get the harshest sentence if found guilty. There are more instances of this than I can list.

Breathe, as said above, deep abdominal breathes. You sound like you are mentally hyperventilating, Slow yourself down mentally along with physically.

Many kids are turned out into the streets at a young age and make it.

Support.
J.

Gentle hug playboy..... Sometimes taking baby steps is the kindest thing to do for ourselves...

I don't know what the crime is but as Jewells wrote I would get a public defender who can offer you help and guidance …..xo

"better to kill yourself than live homeless and without the respect of others"....

No.

I have known quite a number of people who have lived homeless. They have all had value.