I'm not sure what you mean by aspired. I don't think that's the right word. As for leaving you alone in the house, I know several parents who do so for the shortened amount of time your parents did with you. I don't know of any who leave their child longer than the hour but it's not uncommon.

I have one child and I wouldn't leave him alone as a baby like that. I think it's strange your mom said that to you at 11. Eleven is still pretty young to be hearing such a confession.

I think it would be more telling if they continued to go for walks after she'd found you vomited one time. Do you know? Did they stop?

My sense of responsibility wouldn't have let me leave the apartment for an hour, but leaving babies alone for hours is normal in my world. How on Earth are they supposed to get any sleep if you don't? Discovering my babies had vomited while they slept doesn't get my "Normal" rating, but it didn't get a red alert, either. It's part of infancy. Growing tummies spit up often enough that it's worth handling lightly.

As for discovering they had drowned in their own vomit, crib death or any of the other tragedies that can befall a childhood. . . Worrying to much about those ugly potentials is more likely to grow neurosis than they are to save a child's life.

My second child had horrible reflux issues and really didn’t sleep well. My third was a wonderful sleeper with no reflux. With her, occasionally we would grab the baby monitor and older two girls and hang out at the neighbor’s after we put her to bed. It wasn’t far, and we could get home in a minute if she woke up crying. Always stayed in the range of the monitor though.

If you had aspiration of vomit into your lungs --- yeah, bad, but it's normal to take a break from a baby, particularly one that's asleep and peaceful. Yes, many awful "could have" is involved ---- but, with respect, I had a very not-normal childhood, and that's .... As the wise Arfie said, notnormal but not RedFlag dangerous. I'd never leave any kid alone unwatched, but I'm not a parent. So.... wtf do I know?

In balance? Parents screw up. Some very badly. Some not so badly. You're here, you're okay, your mom felt bad about it from what you write, and to be honest, you can be in the house with an infant and walk in after they've been napping and find out they vomited in their sleep --- sometimes a bit of spit-up, sometimes full-on emesis --- and wonder *how* you didn't notice that while you were (washing dishes or whatever). (I'm a godmom to 7. FWIW.)

I would not have gone out for an hour and left the baby alone. What if she woke up and got scared that no one was there?

I don't know what "normal" is or if it matters. Sometimes overextended parents have no choice but to leave their kid(s) unattended while they make an emergency trip for one thing or the other. I imagine it's always scary for the kids. It doesn't sound like what your mom told you about was an emergency, it sounds like it was them taking a break. Was it a one-time thing? Or did she mention that one time because that was the time you vomited?

I think what's important here is what feelings you carry from the experience.

It is not ok to be left alone like that. So many things could of happend in that amount of time. I don't have kids but I do work with and have amazing nieces and nephews... I would never leave them.

Ok, thank you all of you. I thought I wouldn't leave a baby alone like this but then again, I believe I would be overly protective if I had children.

It wasn't a one-time thing from the way mom told me and I don't know if they continued to leave me like that. The confession was confusing to me when I was 11 (well, most of my mom's behavior was and still is confusing to me) and I didn't ask questions.

There were many other things in my childhood that I know qualify as "definitely not normal" without any doubt. Mom has a way of never admitting things she said and did that really hurt me, but at times she used to come to me, devastated and crying and begging my forgiveness for things I'd never blame her for. Like the fact that she didn't have enough milk to breast-feed me. I guess this was such an occasion.

Thanks for helping me put this into perspective, everyone.

You mentioned that you were born before baby monitors so I have to share with you that yeah, that was pretty normal for that time. People didn't think in terms of the "what if" as much. Your mother may have shared that with you because she felt guilty and needed to get it off her chest. Nowadays, no no never, but back in the day, leaving a baby unattended was a lot more common

True, warrior, and thanks. After all, nothing bad happened from that.

I don't have kids and did not have a normal childhood, but personal I would not do it. Don't think she should have told you that young. Maybe things like that happen more than I know.

"Don't think she should have told you that young." Actually, that's the real problem. Mom told me a lot of things when I was way too young to hear about them. Some things she said were bad, some things "not-so-bad" in themselves, but many things came together to make me feel unsafe, unwanted and like I had no right to live.

Sorry, just venting. Thank you.