If I knew, I'd let you know, too. It's just... overwhelming sometimes. And since I'm barely hanging on without sobbing myself sick every day lately? .... I keep reminding myself that it is not always this way, I've had great days and even years, and I must remmeber those good months/days/hours, and be okay with being upset *now*.

Hugs of support.

Marah as my former therapist would encourage me by saying keep propelling forward. I encourage you to do the same because life can be hard and yes we have to keep propelling forward. You are not alone. There are times I am exhausted especially this past week been sick BUT I keep hearing my therapist saying keep propelling.

i worry things wont ever get better to. i'm really tired of it.
i've been trying to write something everyday that i'm greatful for and its hard but i think if we can try to see more good instead of all the bad maybe that will help?

I think the challenging part is that our brain connects anxious moments and tends to over look the time between. I am not trying to preach at all. I know the challenges of life once anxiety transitions to panic. I've been keeping an anxiety journal- just a sentence or two. It has let me track moments or events that tend to lead to anxiety. As I am writing in that journal, I usually get insight that I write more extensively in another journal. With that said I still have moments were it feels like your holding on to a lion's tail for dear life. I just ordered the CBT cards (and 7 week workbook) below to see if they may help. Hang in there. I know its challenging.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1683732464/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Hi Marah,
New skills take a lot of work at first, but over time they become almost automatic. I compare stuff like this to learning to drive. At first it takes all your attention, but at some point after you've passed your initial test and had some more time doing it regularly it takes far less effort.

You're trying to implement multiple new skills at once. This is hard. But, it will get easier.

Hugs of support.

Marah, I am hoping by the time you read this that you were able to find some sleep!

I understand, I keep trying to get my sleep patterns more healthy. I can sleep 2-3 hrs and then I am awake... I have had sleep issues for a long time but the past 4 months it is so much worse and so hard to function. My heart goes out to you and I hope you cant find good healthy sleep soon.
hugs

Half of the battle is calming the fight or flight mechanism along with releasing our body trauma

You meditate

Use your meditation focus skills to integrate ur trauma

I would use a process called titration

I would bring up a piece of my trauma and let it run fir a minute or two

Then I would focus and observe the storyline

Trauma loses power when we can focus and observe

This integrates or brings out trauma to present moment

Each trigger firing is a healing opportunity

Use your meditation skills

Accept then surrender to your fears

Ptsd is a bluff

It is stored past traumas firing well it is broken

It is firing for perceived trauma that does not exist

Nah, it gets worse than this, too. And then better than this. Change seems to be the only constant, Marah, you know? About the time you think you've got the world by the tail, life throws you for a loop like a bucking bronco in the rodeo. Hang on tight, there are these lulls when the think you've tamed the beast, and then-whoa, Nelly!