I'm so sorry that you feel like this. Struggles are such necessary, integral parts of depression, that if nothing else follows it's feelings of shame and worthlessness.
Have you confided in any of your therapist about these feelings? I believe that trust is so very difficult for me; I want to trust, but often don't, period. I haven't had therapy available to me for quite a long time. I know I did better when I had at least a base of trust. How about you?
I wish I could help you more. I am here along side many others to offer support and friendship when and where I'm able.
Keep posting and sharing. There are a good deal of decent people here.
Take care.

This is a question I have struggled with myself, many, many times since . . . ? ? ? forever ? ? ? Still don't have a sustainable answer. Yesterday's answer is already waffling under this morning's meditations while the stress factors of my life are still sleeping.

Analogies/correlations between my physical and mental health are on another round of being my favorite answer to this question. Answering the question with more questions. . . Vocabulary to describe my physical health needs are so much easier to work with that I keep it physical and let my mental health understandings ride along.

* Which meal will allow my diet to be so stable that I never need give food another thought?
* Which bowel movement will so thoroughly detox my system that I can be done with that daily bother?
* Which exercise session will tune my muscles so finely that they never need another session?

I can go on and on, but I think you get the gist. I do not know and my faith is weak, but I am wondering if, like good physical health, good mental health requires an on-going maintenance plan.

Still questioning with you, Duv. Still haven't found an answer I can hold on to.

hi ; ) one of the things you said really stood out to me, the need to have a witness. that is huge for us - we were so alone while in the suffering - in the place with the person before we stepped out of it, or before they maybe passed away, different things/stories for each of us - but as we come here or start to be ready to share and find ourselves in this place of _________ what now? the need for a witness becomes very important. I can be your witness, we here can be witnesses for one another. you can choose a witness among your friends here.
I find the friendships I have built here are the deepest I have ever had, so it isn't a big leap to have my friends here be my witness.
just a thought, maybe a good one, maybe not. hugs, I hear you, Lilly

Hey, Duvessa, thanks for being willing to share your struggles. We've all got them, and it can be hard (yet therapeutic!) to talk about them.

Personally, my life completely turned around once I surrendered myself to Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. Because I know that He loves me infinitely (to the point that He bore the penalty for my sins) and now I can live for Him, I have a purpose in life. I have a reason to get out of bed every morning! I invite you to find a Bible-based church in your area. You never know, Jesus could change your life, too! ♥♥♥

I like your question, because I've been diagnosed with PTSD since 1995. I'd say therapy is still in its early development overall and hasn't yet answered your question: "when is enough enough?" It should, like everything else. I hope that some day it will organize itself like education has, you know? Here's a fantasy I have about how we could say "enough is enough," as you put it so well.

Education has grades in elementary school, then grades in high school. Then, if you want to, you can got to college and get a bachelor's. Some may go even further and get a master's. And a few may go on and get a doctorate.

What if we did the same for measuring progress in therapy? Then it would be a clearer choice when we said "enough is enough." If someone doesn't want to be in therapy all of their lives, they could say "enough is enough" and take the therapy "diploma" of their choice at whatever level (like high school or BA, MA, of PhD) and "graduate," so to speak, with no condemnation. On the other hand, they would be responsible for how high or low functioning they would be (notice I avoid that word normal) at the level they chose.

In addition to being able to say "enough is enough" in a positive way by "graduating" from therapy, having grades to measure progress toward whatever therapy "diploma" we chose would be great. Progress in therapy is real, I know, but it's often so nebulous, so vague. There's often no objective measurement or even language for describing it to ourselves or to others. Others like the "witnesses" we all need in support groups like this one here at DS PTSD.

Anyway, there's my fantasy that "enough is enough" could be a common sense, positive thing, and not an all or nothing choice between therapy vs. no therapy.

In answer to your last question, one aspect of what wellness means to me is being "functional" more than comparing myself to others about being "normal." I find that the pursuit of "normalcy" is like peeling an onion. It's a notion with no ultimate core center to it. Using the word "normal" for wellness has the negative effect of defining me as "abnormal." As much as I have serious PTSD, I don't think I'm abnormal, really. I think anyone who went through the trauma many of us have survived here would be in our condition. Calling our condition "abnormal" when we end up like us is therefore false to me. Rather than try to achieve a phantom social idea of what's "normal" as my wellness goal, I care more about being "functional" as wellness. That means being able to identify the things in life I want to do, like teach at my job or travel in my case, and be able to function well enough to do them. Like get out of the house, show up at work on time, get through the day despite PTSD flashbacks, be able to keep long term commitments, participate in meetings despite PTSD agoraphobia, etc.

If that sounds like a low standard, it's not. I just got tenure for the second time (I had it but lost my job to a severe PTSD setback 16 years ago) and functioning well enough to do so was a full life's work I'd put up against that of any "normal" person who doesn't have PTSD.

Thanks for asking about this. Obviously, I think a lot about it, too.