I totally understand. I have never been raped either but I have been bodily violated in other ways, and while I imagine I had relatively normal sexual urges when I was younger, as I get older, it just seems intrusive and I'm not interested.

I love my husband dearly and feel very close to him emotionally, and I go along with the sex stuff often enough (I think) for him to feel satisfied, but personally, I wouldn't care if it never happened again for the rest of my life. I find it mildly disgusting and just "endure" it for his sake.

Therapists like to make a big deal out of lack of sexual interest and have all kinds of strategies for adding zest to your sex life. Um, thanks, but I'm not buying just now.

Good luck!

I use to endure but I cannot do it anymore...........I m glad you are able too.

Well, I was raped, repeatedly by one particular psychopath. Yet I managed to recover my desire for sexual intimacy and I did become able to trust again.

I know that when I am working through some of my emotional issues, I shut down on that level as well. I could care less because it just does not fix the problem AND I just don't have the mental or emotional energy to go there. This also seems to occur when my PTSD symptoms are heightened or when there are other life stressors adding to my already overloaded plate.

Lack of desire is rather normal, whether we have a history of rape or not. Adding zest is not going to fix the problem.

Let's also address the fact that we are 40, @Unlivedlife, and our hormone levels are beginning to decline as well. This is only adding to the issue.

I honor the moments I don't feel the desire, even if it lasts for days, weeks, or months. I had to look for other ways to be intimate with my fiance during those times. Granted, he's a very understanding person and we tend to work together on this stuff. He has his moments, too. I've learned that spending time cuddling with non-sexual touch does a world of good for me. It takes that feeling of obligation away. And ultimately, I actually find my own desire growing....not necessarily that day, but within a few days. I had learn to give myself both types of physical intimacy....sexual and non-sexual.

Hope this helps.
Hugs!

I totaly understand what you are saying and my PTSD symptoms are bad right now. I was just wandering if anyone else felt that way or is it just me...I know some of the medication does not help matters either.

So very true, meds can kill a good sex drive, believe me, my physician got an earful on that a few years ago! LOL Nope, you're not alone on this one!

Thanks girl makes me feel a little better

I was severely abused and now suffer cervical dysplasia that makes sex painful. Yes. I suffer this problem. I take a great deal of time to find other forms of intimacy with my husband. Ignoring the problem is not wise. It is no more fair to expect him to deny his needs than for him to expect me to ignore mine. Balance is difficult, but possible.

I have troubles with emotional intimacy.

You do....how do you deal with it?

I was the victim of incest (brother) before I was 5, but have no memory of it and also was raped by two men when I was 13. I was very sexually active from a very young age until about 10 years ago. I have always had issues in regards to sex I never felt like I could say no. I now know that I can and have been going through what my husband calls a dry spell very dry. I feel somewhat like madbookworm in that I often view it as mildly discusting. I am experiencing more and more epsisodes where any touch that is in the least bit sexual makes my skin crawl.

Thankfully my pdoc, tdoc, or my gpdoc do not give me stratigies to make it more interesting or spice it up or blame it all on my hormones.

Hubby is not happy about present circumstances but I will not participate for his sake alone.

You are not crazy and I absolutely understand about having your own space and not wanting anyone in it. You are not alone.

You're not crazy! There are so many factors involved. I just celebrated my 32 year anniversary yesterday with my hubby. We went to dinner and he wanted me to have some wine. I HATE liquor, but when I'm drunk it seems I'm much better with sex. I was raped at a very young age.I have never ever liked sex. I never will. My hubby of 32 years is always frustrated with me because I never initiate. That's because I never want to have sex. He doesn't understand PTSD. He never will. My therapist explained to me that people go through transition periods about every ten years. This transition period is the hardest one for me yet. But to get back to your question..No..You're not crazy and it's perfectly normal. Every woman feels like that at some point. Don't get off the ride just yet!

with all the meds my wife is on,we haven't been intimant for about ten years..I miss it,but she doesn't..Think I've forgotten how to love...