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Incident at age 11, 12 and 13

Age: 11
So when I was 11, we went on a vacation to this christian music festival so we stayed at a cottage or something in a town and it had a lake everything was kind of connected so when we walked down to the lake well me and my friend, there was this one kid who was either a year older or a year younger and I don't know why these memories just resurfaced tonight after all these years cause it's been a long time since I'm 19 now. But when we went down to the lake he would bully my friend and I everyday and then one of the days at the lake he was trying to hurt me so I ran into the water because he couldn't swim in the deep end for some reason yet so I was attempting to get there before he could catch me but he got to me before I could and held my head under water like had his hand pushing down on my head holding me under, I either kneed him or my friend pushed him off me I think I kneed him though and quickly swam to the other side cause I think my friend was drying off at that time and he had a helper who was a year older than me i think and he was able to swim in the deep end so this friend of him tried to push me off the dock and throw seeweed on me multiple times I ended up getting away from him and I saw this kid who tried to drown me helpers mother and went to her and told her what was happening and she encouraged her kid to keep doing what he was doing and then the rest of that time I didn't go to the lake for that vacation. It was terrifying at that time I didn't tell my mom until like 2 years later. I don't know why this is happening now and I don't know if this is what caused my guy trust issues towards that time.
Age: 12
We go to the Christian festival every year so I went the year after again and didn't have any problems really at the lake this time, but I did in the little open grass area at this festival and I was playing with my friend the same guy who was helping the one that tried to drown me a year before was there and started trying to throw either dirt or grass or a ball at us a lot so we left and went back up but we had multiple issues with this kid every night when we went down to play in that little grass area.
Age: 13
My friend and I were at that vacation place again, we went to the lake and this time we had issues with a total seperate guy, he chased us around and we had to run into a porter potty and lock it he kept trying to knock it over and when he went behind it we made a run for it and ran out and up the hill. We didn't have issues with this guy again after that day because the next day we had our parents with us down there it wasn't a big deal for kids our age to go down to the lake alone because it was super close to where we were staying and it was in easy walking distance to get back.
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Lately I've been feeling scared and full of anxiety. I recently found a lump under my nipple. I hurt my back too. I'm in the process of moving. I'm run down. Everything is hard
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Well, our drought isn't broken but our gutter is. Got two big storms rigth after each other and, wait for it, a tornado warning.Now, I was already running for my go-bag when I heard thunder. The air felt wrong. The sky was getting a color to the west. Been there, lived that, time to hide.No funnel touched down but the radar indicated rotation, and boy was it visible from the ground. Different...


50 years ago can feel more real than the here and now in the grips of a PTSD flashback. What I wouldn't give to be able to *just* get over ^it^. Well, just it all. . .
Glad you felt safe to share about it, Rista. May the sharing of the trauma lead you to a healing path.
Do you have a therapist with whom you are processing the memories of these traumatic events as they surface now? It would be a great opportunity for healing if you could start sorting through them and putting them in the context of a larger, safe narrative for you now.
((hugs))