i agree with the addiction metaphor. it feels that way to me too, or it did, when i was raging and running wild. pain feeds on pain, and i never let myself go hungry.

meds, good doctors, and just realizing the cycle helped me break the cycle. i would never suggest medications for others, but for me, they help.

Hello Arancha. Welcome to the forum.

I'll add another round of applause for the addiction metaphor. Inside my strictly personal skin, it feels like hurting myself is the only route available for filling my social needs. Being myself feels like a guarantee of rejection. Isolation is my go-to addiction these days, but isolation, too, is a pain-riddled solution. Without community I find myself trapped and alone with my psycho-demons. Those buggers don't have the decency to reject me.

It are a vicious hurdle to jump. That damned hurdle keeps moving and morphing into something else, entirely. Is a modicum of predictability too much to ask?

Sigh. . .

Peer support from folks who are trapped in similar cycles helps me keep my eye on the prize of healing hopes of finding that way out.

Welcome aboard. Hope healing happens here.

Welcome aboard this DS lifeboat. Most of us do understand being stuck in the pain. I sometimes think of it as developing a feeling habit. We are here to support each other on our journeys. Most of us have added therapy to gain insight, tools, and change. Caring hugs as you journey on.