When I am tired of pretending to be strong
I find a strength which was mine all along
When I open myself to something beyond
My limited human understanding

Strong are the forces which live beyond
Human knowledge and certainty
I listen for the quiet voice to guide me to
Which path I should be on

I wish I could understand but my mind is drawing a blank due to the lack of sleep ;-; but the thought that were going through my head started to tear me apart and o guess writing a poem put them into words

It's a poem, Michael. It is not any more obliged to make sense than Life is.

The inspiration was your line, "the last hope I have is my Lord Christ alone." Turning to a power greater than myself has been a cornerstone of my own recovery. Personally, I have come to believe that understanding is over-rated. Faith leads me to places my knowledge is not even aware of.

Wishing you a restful sleep.

Sorry you are exhausted and not sleeping that makes everything worse. I hear you on the loneliness and I get that too. The symptoms of PTSD are loneliness and it really is hard

I took a great programme at the hospital for PTSD, mostly educational so easier then group therapy. I do now recognize when I am hyper or hypovigilanse so I know that my feelings are not know, they are from my past. DOesn't make them go away but it does help.

So elusive, sleep~ especially when the darkness falls. You are a talented writer. Your emotions bleed with the ink of your words.

I am sorry you know the darkness and the weary feeling of insomnia.
i hope you are able to sleep soon triple hugs

I know how you feel, this is one place where you can be sure that's true of many of us. I notice the poem repeats the word "beyond," and that is key for me. In terms of coming here, knowing the struggle with PTSD goes beyond me my strength alone, in terms of grounds for faith that there is a source beyond us all for strength. PTSD is so tiring for any one of us, I'm glad you found this poem to share with us so we could send our strength back to you, Michael. may you get some rest.

I didn't find this poem, I wrote it at the hight of the PTSD attack, and I ended up getting some sleep, not much but it did help alot

Writing poetry is one of my personal favorite ways to vent. I don't like reading it anywhere near as much as I like writing it.

Vent on good buddy, vent on.

Good job on this! Keep putting your stuff up here. Sharing makes us stronger.

I guess this poem reminded me of when I had my heart ripped out.

All my perceptions turned to death and dying.

As with everything in life things change including our pain.

And those feelings passed, comfort replaced the distress.
Death and dying doesn't bother me at the moment. At least look at it this way....

At least "this" isn't it for eternity right!? There is death and sweet release to oblivion or maybe this world is like a womb. And ALL our loved ones are waiting for us to be born on the other side? Have you read the latest research on near death experiences??? Having "hallucinated" myself I can fully believe that people are truly experiencing meeting a loving forgiving God who bathes you in love and happiness...

I personally am glad that I don't have to live on planet earth forever, I find life very painful at times, I think the Buddhists had it right when they said life is suffering and once you radically accept that you ll have less feelings of distress.

All thoughts and feelings are temporary if you let them go, spend your time dwelling on good stuff and get involved in the gym group and salvation army or something. The activity should help the rivers flow and wash away this grief

Hope this helps