Today was another very stressful day. Legal negotiations with last minute information wanted. All very triggering, my attorney doesn't understand PTSD very well. As I was trying to work on the information my attorney needs by tomorrow morning, one of my Tai Chi students calls and needs help setting up her computer for tomorrow's session. Then my husband calls to see if I reviewed an antenna tuner set up for a weekend radio event that he is trying to motivate me to do even though I really am not in the mood or state of mind to do. So many interruptions put me behind on my legal work. My husband comes home and brought dinner. That was great! But it distracted me further. Then I had a call from a friend telling me two mutual friends died of COVID last week. If that wasn't enough for one day, yet another friend called to tell me that she was just diagnosed with lung and kidney cancer and it didn't look good. My husband hugs me knowing that I don't do well with being hugged and says he doesn't understand why I am not upset. I told him to the contrary, I am upset. He goes on to tell me I don't look like it. I say to him.....my emotions are numb, I can't feel them or express them. Remember the conversation you had with my TDoc? He looked surprised and said you mean you can't cry for your friends? Sorry, I needed to get this out. I am shaking as I write this. My PTSD is out of control tonight. I know my husband is just trying to help me and I appreciate his efforts. It just seems like my world is crumbling. Words of support or wisdom would be very much appreciated. I just need to get through all this.
For the last three years there has been an increase of leaks that were almost worth gathering sliding glass doors from the roadside to cover with. I really didn't have any idea how to manage this. I would let my family know that I was on the bucket brigade, so couldn't join them if it was raining. They tookit as me joking about a smallleak. It's an old house, 1926. So damage had to be repaired as...
The weekend's just begun. I just felt exhausted all day and it's raining now so I'll curl up with my tea :)