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It has been a long time. I am not sure how much of that time I could have been functional, but chose to hide instead
I guess that is not entirely true... I did get a Bachelor's Degree with a 3.47 GPA. There were more 50+ page research papers than I want to count in the last five years. So, in a different way, I was functional.
But since June that has not been the case other than the occasional single day when I manage to get things done.
I have no choice anymore. Hubby is working full time with a 90 minute commute each direction and will soon be working 12 hours days. He will not be here to press on my back when the muscles spasm. He won't be here to make me meals... in fact, I have to make sure I have something ready for dinner when he gets home. I also need to figure out how to send him with a lunch. Subway might not be a bad choice for lunch, but the cost adds up quickly.
I can't let myself go hours of just ignoring the world playing in my computer... I have to get the house packed. My daughter will help, but a lot of times her help does not actually HELP. At least she is around some of the time to give me company, do heavy lifting, and drive me places.
But so far today I have been absolutely alone, just me the dogs and ferrets. Hubby left for work at 5am. Daughter got home from work at 2am so she won't be alive for a few more hours. She has to leave for work at 4pm and as tonight is Halloween and payday, she will be working until at least 2am at the haunt then all the actors will go have breakfast together.
So I am on my own. I have been up for three hours and just put up food for breakfast.
I can do this. Honest
I guess that is not entirely true... I did get a Bachelor's Degree with a 3.47 GPA. There were more 50+ page research papers than I want to count in the last five years. So, in a different way, I was functional.
But since June that has not been the case other than the occasional single day when I manage to get things done.
I have no choice anymore. Hubby is working full time with a 90 minute commute each direction and will soon be working 12 hours days. He will not be here to press on my back when the muscles spasm. He won't be here to make me meals... in fact, I have to make sure I have something ready for dinner when he gets home. I also need to figure out how to send him with a lunch. Subway might not be a bad choice for lunch, but the cost adds up quickly.
I can't let myself go hours of just ignoring the world playing in my computer... I have to get the house packed. My daughter will help, but a lot of times her help does not actually HELP. At least she is around some of the time to give me company, do heavy lifting, and drive me places.
But so far today I have been absolutely alone, just me the dogs and ferrets. Hubby left for work at 5am. Daughter got home from work at 2am so she won't be alive for a few more hours. She has to leave for work at 4pm and as tonight is Halloween and payday, she will be working until at least 2am at the haunt then all the actors will go have breakfast together.
So I am on my own. I have been up for three hours and just put up food for breakfast.
I can do this. Honest
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Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
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My day...today...misplaced my debit card...didn't realize it until I got to the register after shopping to a full cart. Used a different debit card and pulled apart everything looking for missing debit card before I left parking lot. Got home, dropped keys. So now I have a missing debit card, missing keys. A full cartload to unload and put away. I got everything put away.Dumped purse for a...
Be patient and kind to yourself. Yes you can do anything you need to. Or figure out something that works. You are stronger than you realize, smarter than you give yourself credit for, and kinder than most people will ever know. (That's my new affirmation butni know that it suits you well)
My daughter woke up and finished making breakfast - which was really NICE. She just pulled back into the driveway from running to the store. She wants to make pumpkin fudge and needed some ingredients. While she was gone I got a load of dishes washed and another soaking. Not counting what she dirties while cooking, that is all the dirty dishes that can soak. There are a few leather and wooden tankards that have to be carefully washed, but those will be easy. Then the kitchen which has been a disaster for six months will be clean. Huge sigh of relief!!!
Just heard that hubby got off work and called daughter to say he was on his way home. Dinner tonight is just going to be leftover stew from yesterday, but it is good stew. We have potato bread to do with it.
My goal is to clean the pile of STUFF that has accumulated next to my desk under the table. Once I get that clean, I can have hubby or daughter move the extra ottoman over so Misha can curl up there within random snuggling reach.
Yesterday I got my desk all the way clean... took an entire trashbag of stuff I had no use for off of it. Found all my missing dog grooming supplies too!
I have to do one thing above everything else - I have to support hubby in going back to work. I can't let my desperation for his company sabotage his new job.
Hugs to all!!!!
But that is me...
Be gentle with yourself.
Packing one thing at a time. One box at a time. You can do this cause you are strong. Hugs.
Hope that does the trick, yadlim. There's much ahead to do, and hope you can break it down into bit sized task portions. We're with you. We know what it takes to get geared up to function. Be good to yourself.