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I don't know if this is just a rant or if I have a question in here. I know that no one likes to be verbally attacked but it's something I frequently run across in my work. I feel like there is no safe place to vent. I feel like most people will think I am being an insensitive jerk. I am a nurse and currently I work as a medical liaison for adults with developmental disabilities that live independently. I love my job. But I work with a couple of people that are just plain mean and nasty. It has nothing to do with their IQ. Many of my clients are dually diagnosed ; meaning they have a mental illness as well. I do have to say that the majority of my clients have better manners than a lot of "normal" people. I can deal with the phobias, the anxiety, the PTSD, the paranoia, autism spectrum, on and on. What I can't deal with is being called names, yelled at, cursed at, told I'm useless, threatened and belittled. I work so damn hard trying to be understanding and helping people ...working with them patiently to overcome their obstacles. Then there is this #$%^& mean, nasty, rude, obnoxious woman who just sets me off. All damn week she has been calling me and making vague threats. Still I continue to work with her...continue trying to meet her needs. She does NOTHING to meet me half way though she is cognitively able. She desperately needs counseling but refuses because in her mind everyone else is wrong. Today I got another call from her. She complained about how I wasn't doing my job right (though I have arranged her transport to all her appointments, secured an urgent appointment and ride in less than 24 hours, and cut through the red tape to help her get a needed treatment) She told me that she had to do everything herself because I didn't do it fast enough. I ended up politely telling her that she had done a great job and since she was managing it herself she should continue to do so and took her off my caseload. Part of me feels like a jerk , part of me feels like crying. I just don't know how to not let people like that get to me.
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My day...today...misplaced my debit card...didn't realize it until I got to the register after shopping to a full cart. Used a different debit card and pulled apart everything looking for missing debit card before I left parking lot. Got home, dropped keys. So now I have a missing debit card, missing keys. A full cartload to unload and put away. I got everything put away.Dumped purse for a...
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I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
Hope the venting helped. A luxurious bath with soft music might make a good desert. Hoping an easier tomorrow is coming your way.
If I am understanding correctly, your complain is about the people you are servicing- not your co-workers, right?
You said that they are dually identified, so some of these people have personality disorders, may be cycling, etc... While that's not an excuse for you to be their whipping post, I'd try not to engage them in the future when they are set to take you down.
I teach middle school and some of them have ODD NPD and other issues. I'd read up on some strategies on how to keep your cool when dealing with these types of people. One thing I know is to say back to them what they said so they know you heard them and to repeat back what you said without escalating your tone. Not that I'm an expert by any means, lol!
Is there any way to report this type of treatment to a higher-up??? You'd think that part of their servicing would be social skills building and they need to learn that this is not the way to treat people...
from what i've observed, people who are that angry and bitter will never make the effort of trying to be positive, but they have no problem bringing others down to their level of rotten-ness.
i'm glad you put your mental health/ well being first.
DeliAnnem, Yes it is one of my clients not a co worker. I try not to engage her but sadly I don't have caller ID on my work phone so I answered the call. She filibusters so it is at least 10 or 15 minutes before I could repeat what she said back to her. She isn't one who cycles...she has been a miserable wench all her life. Even people with disabilities can be natural born jerks. If you took away her disability she would still be mean and nasty. She has a long history of alienating people. She lives on her own and is her own guardian therefore no services can be forced upon her, even the counseling she desperately needs. It is just so hard for me not to take it to heart.
I have another person who in some ways behaves much worse but her reason is because she is in constant pain and virtually immobile. She told me one day that she would kill herself but she physically can't. She has a lot of anger and bitterness....but I get it so we work thru it.
This woman today ...I don't know...I just couldn't listen to her BS anymore.
Bless you for teaching middle school. That can't be easy some days. My daughter is 19 now but I remember the middle school days...lol.
People don't always wear halos around chaplains any more than they do around nurses, believe you me. Sometimes they've got history with some jerk who wore a clerical collar in their past, some very legitimate beef, but it wasn't me--yet, guess who got raked over the coals? Just like patients who are mad at doctors won't mind letting loose on a nurse if the doctor's not available, which you know they usually aren't nearly as much. Both nurses and chaplains have dodged bed pans really meant for somebody else.
That feeling you describe, part of you feeling like a jerk and part feeling like crying, is familiar. You're not alone. And keep coming back. It will get to you, as it will get to anybody, but you don't have to let if get to you alone.
Later, I told a friend 'I don't know whether to laugh or cry.'
I believe in you ,she doesn't. So you did your best right? now be like a Teflon coated pan and let her slide right off your back, she's not worth the stress. I hope this helps in some way.
I am always questioning my reactions and actions. Second guessing myself is second nature and I have a tendency to feel that I am so important that everything is my fault. Tsunamis , earthquakes and hurricanes. I must have been putting out bad vibes that day :-)