maybe you should check in to the hospital. It's the best option of the 3. We don't want you dead, or in jail. We don't want anybody hurt.

Are you on any of the drugs that have this as a side effect?

I have had to check in for being suicidal a couple of times. If you need to do that then please do that.

Sorry you're feeling like this been there before.
Remember this kinds of things come in waves... I went to you proflle and you have BP? me too.

Remember you're on the down phase...It will eventually pass....Are you on any meds? if you tolerate them I would go into the hospital.If you have a dx they will give you some.

If not like I do....I let it pass but I know its very hard...You are NOT your symptoms.

If you really are having homicidal thoughts, it's not fair to you or society for you to try to get a grips on it alone.

If necessary, go to the ER and tell them what you posted here. You'll be admitted and they'll evaluate you. It's not the end of the world and since your current support system's not working, they'll give you a new route.

Best of luck.

I dont know your situation but if your on meds maybe you should seek help that dont include meds because meds made me worse. im 100% off meds now and feel 75% better i still get stressed and depressed but since getting all meds out my system im no longer trying to hurt myself. i notice 3 yrs ago when on meds i was way quicker to act on my emotions i was way quicker ready to just give up sand off my self my anger had increased i had a i dont give a fuck attitude. now i feel more normal. i can cope when i have mood swing with out taking to the extreem and treating everything as the end of the world. i have always been depressed agreed to go on meds in 04 between o4 and 2013 ive been committed 22 times from 1986 to 04 only commited once you do the math so thats 22 times in less the 9 years beeing on meds because ive been off meds since 2010 and only once in the 20 years i delt with my issues just getting counseling and refusing meds since 2010 ive been only twice but i signed myself in because off meds i know when i need help before i harm myself and get forced in.

A hospital stay just might help with that support gap if ya give it an honest go. This is gnarly stuff to try to do alone. Every so often, healing actually happens in hospitals.

For now, you are NOT alone here. A cyber-community can't replace a flesh and blood community, but we are here for you to the best of our digitized abilities. Keep posting. We care.

When I feel that down if you can afford it rest, rest, rest, drink lots of water and just give yourself a break..

like others said we're here for you...we know its very hard...
If you need to go to the hospital do.I've gone they sent me home with meds...But I usually don't tolerate them.

Well they usually ask me if I want to stay but its always cold, freezing in there and gloomy..so its like "no thanks".....so they ask if i'm going to be alright...if i'm sure i'm not gnnna hurt myself...and then they give some meds...

I like what unomas said. "You are not your symptoms". Very true and this wave will pass. Bi-polar disorder requires a consistent pattern of mood stabilizing medication. It balances you. Sounds like part of the problem here that would reduce your emotional vulnerabilities. Your chemicals sound off balanced and so it's no wonder you are feeling so awful. Not your fault by any means and the good part is that you can get better. Please seek medical treatment asap.

Voluntary admission to a hospital is preferable to being committed, even if to the very same building. Thats a tip I can offer from working at a hospital myself. When feelings get to the point you indicate, theres no real reason left not to. Please take care of yourself, keep posting, and give it some consideration.

I've been thinking of this post and you throughout the day. I hope you can check in and let us know how you're doing.