In the hospital chaplaincy biz we had a saying that reminded us that we could be helpful or we could be right, and we'd try to be helpful.

My dad always had to "win", to be "right", and that rubbed off on me by example, so I spent a lot of years after I left home reminding myself how I felt when he was "right" and not so easy to live with. Ain't perfect, still work in progress, but I try to remember that while I am sure of my "right"-ness, the *right* thing to do is shut up and hand out the tissues or cookies or whatever is needed.... Not that I succeed, but I keep trying. *sigh*

For me, the first step in being easy to live with when "right" is to not care if it's acknowledged. Hard for me, with my issues on not having achievements recognized, but.... the biggest thing I've found that my dad did when he was "right" was that he had to tell us we were "wrong"---so maybe a good place to start is just not gloating? Preening? Fill in blank-ing?

Argh, brain sprain.

Muji, so right. Leo, so right. In my humble opinion, it's okay to be glad that you are right, but it doesn't have to puff you up, doesn't mean you have to smear it in people's faces. Be grateful. Be quiet. Take the joy on the inside. "yes, i did this right. " Be glad when you know something. Humility just means don't slam it into people's worlds that you are righf you are right you are right. Accept the wonder and grace that you are. Smile. And feel good. "And help me be easy to live with."

Very wise prayer arfie... I agree that it's more important to be helpful and humble....then no one feels that they have to fight to be right...x

It's the end of the day, and I came back to see that prayer and see who else was touched by it. It's a deep thing, humility. It's not just a nice thing to do. Somehow it opens possibilities beyond the limits of the ego. I don't know, it just seemed worth more reflection for me.

Thanks for posting it, arfie, and I'm glad to see everybody else's responses to it.

Humility is not humiliating. Humility is merely seeing and finding serenity in your place in the universe.

Yeah, the difference between humility and humiliation is so large that I wonder why the two words even share a language root. Here's a comparison of the difference to me. Humiliation is something done from the outside in, done to a person to weaken them. Humility is a talent of the strong that comes from the inside out from a heart of courage.

I totally agree with that muji. I struggle with false humility. I learned early to not be heard and rarely seen I didn't wanna add my needs to the already chaotic mess so I denied being good at anything or being "cute" . Sometimes its hard to recognize even in myself and to stop. Being right never mattered much but I'm learning that having my feelings acknowledged and undrrstood is ok to push for. Its a hard line to walk.

I've been trying to respond to this, but could not put the words down, they were all mixed up in my mind. I was humiliated /no winesses/months ago....it was wrong...it was a now former employee that had access to tenants and because of my past, I knew the type...he could/would do the same or worse if not stopped. Part of management invalidated me/continued to cover his bad behavior ((don't get me started on that). My PTSD was triggered bad, but I had to take the risk/expose what hapened to the Board of directors/it was the right thing to do, but I also had to be prepared for reactions/even when you are right and humble/people can say hurtful things/like it happened to ME, because I was weak, it could never happen to them. When I heard *weak* firstly I had become numb, but inside I wanted to Scream...."I'm not weak" for ohh so many reasons. I felt like I once again had to defend myself....I won't repeat the other comment...it's on my venting post.....I had to come to terms somehow with regardless of what was said about me, I only came forward for one reason...that it was the right thing to do for everyone even if some didn't see it...I'm really a private person...but putting myself *out there* reminded me of what I could never do in early lfe..,defend
myself without repercussions that I was bad/wrong/shamed.
I had support in this, one manager/some tenants/I'm grateful for that/I'm trying to stay humble on the outside/while needing to scream and pummel on the inside. No one where I live* gets*the PTSD...I have to be ok with being helpful/like muji said/I did not come forward for any other reason. I'm on a roll of ranting...peeling layers that have become exposed...better stop with that since I don't know why I'm now crying! Good topic to chew on arfie!

I like this prayer a lot. It's a keeper.