Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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In virtually the same room someone talks to someone else as if you’re not able to hear, “why does she? I wish she’d? She didn’t...” and the answers are very reasonable “I thought...but you said....because....”
Clearly we both failed at communicating and since I don’t read minds I didn’t know she was upset until instead of opening up a dialogue this is what happened. And I froze. In hindsight I could have said “I’m right here....” or “I left it out because....” and “you said it didn’t matter so I...” But I froze and decided to go for a walk....
is that even passive aggressive? What is that? What works for you guys? This is not someone I can avoid and this sort of thing happens often. I’m going to write a letter but not deliver, maybe....maybe it will help me approach things next tine?
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Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
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My day...today...misplaced my debit card...didn't realize it until I got to the register after shopping to a full cart. Used a different debit card and pulled apart everything looking for missing debit card before I left parking lot. Got home, dropped keys. So now I have a missing debit card, missing keys. A full cartload to unload and put away. I got everything put away.Dumped purse for a...
Remember the old movie War Games? At the end of the movie the computer says "The only way to win...is not to play." That's the way it is with passive-aggresive.
You "could" tell them that you're right there. But it doesn't matter...they can see you.
Don't make it your job to "fix" them. Leave them to their "cleverness". Going for a walk is perfect.
If confronted, the best response "Oh I just thought that you were having one of your moments and needed to be left alone." BUT it's really NOT about getting the best zinger in response. As I said, the only way to win...is not to play. Then they won't occupy space in your head.
I'm kind of extreme about it, so you may want to ask another role model. I walked away from 2 marriages and ended up divorced twice when I probably should have played longer.
That's in my personal life. I'm kind of extreme in my professional life, as I ended up a hospital chaplain to brain surgery patients and I now teach death and dying courses to nurses. Folks usually stop playing games when facing death, which is when they get real the way I like it. Kind of shows that I grew up as a war child, huh?
So again, don't take me as your guide, I'm extreme about it. Passive aggressive stuff is in the end, to me, deadly boring.
I'm another one who walks away and finds something more interesting to do. I walk away even quicker when I am the one being used to facilitate the performance.
Healing hopes for all. No exceptions.
Its rude, disresptful and cowardly imo but we cabt change others.
Im learning to let go to save my own life
it is difficult to learn how not to when you've been 'trained' or raised in it, but it is healthy to learn this. if you need to physically stay there, use this time to learn how not to engage.
gentle hugs xo
My husband can be passive aggressive sometimes. I tell him he's being an _ss and then leave the room / house / whatever and just get away from the negativity for a while. Sometimes he gets the picture sometimes not. But the point isn't to defeat the other person (because they may never change), but to keep you calm and happy (not eaten up). So if taking a walk helps, then take a walk. If going to another room and locking the door is the answer, then do that.