It sounds like you are having a really rough go of it. I am sorry to hear you are in so much pain.

If you are not seeing a therapist you need too. I think you need some help to get over this rough spot and support you. You need to get some of these feeling out and talk about them.

You said you struggled with addiction, but you did not say what you are addicted to. Again you need help with this. I am going to be honest and direct with what I say next. You will not get better by self-medicating!! Trust me when I say that only makes things worse. I turned to drinking to cope with my PTSD and it did not help...it made everything from relationships, symptoms of PTSD and health all much worse.

You will not likely like what I say next, but you may want to consider checking into the hospital. I spend a short period in the Psychiatric ward at our local hospital. They helped me find the right meds to improve my quality of life. It was there I finally felt safe and to be honest it is the only place I have felt safe for a long time. You need a place that you can feel safe. They will help you with meds, programs for addiction and other services you may need.

You have made an important first step here today by recognizing you need help and reach out for it. What you do next is up to you.

I understand how difficult it can be and how scary, but honestly. Going to the hospital was the best thing I ever did. It saved my life. I was just so tired of living with PTSD.

I hope you continue to reach out for help and find peace.

I would have to agree with CrazyCanuk. While it may seem like the answer to cope by numbing it out,it does not help in having life with ptsd. I depend on my psychiatrist and counselor though not as much since I have had healing. I learned skills while in the hospital and also felt safe. They kept me alive while I dealt with it. Seeking help here is a big step, following through with what you choose could change your life and give you what you are searching for. (Hugs)

My medication plays a big role. I deal with addiction too, been SI free for a few months short of 3 years. A lot of that is coping, yes, but i dont know if I would have made it without naltraxone at least. And definitely my therapist, though it took a long time to trust her.

Do you have a treatment team?

While I do agree with what's been said, I too admit that ptsd does bring along its addictions or bad coping mechanisms. You are not wrong neither is it right for you to not do anything about it.

I am slowly becoming a believer in medicine and its benefits. Do whatever you need to do to get better.

The most important thing is support from others. A therapist and pdoc can really help save your life early on in healing. An addictions counselor would probably also help you very much. You have two serious problems: PTSD and an addiction. They both need support in the world to come help you. Not feeling alone in it all will help tremendously. I'm not a big 12 step believer, but I have seen the social support and sharing help others. I don't think it's the only way to go, but it is good when feeling so alone in all this. Also thinking and developing your own spirituality might help. I'm agnostic, but I would not be healing without my belief systems. Faith in something (your choice) good in life can help. It does not have to be formed from 12 steps, but faith in love and good action in my life really did help me define myself as a good person and help me forgive all the perceived failures like 'I should have been better' or 'I should have been stronger' crap we all seem to volunteer for. I'm also a big believer in helping others through compassion and support like here on this board. It's amazing how much concern for others helps with personal self-esteem down the road.

Good luck, you can do this.

I use talismans to keep myself reminded to take it easy and be extra loving. Any old pocket-sized object will work for a talisman. A rubberband around my wrist. A rock picked up from the ground. A small toy or statue. My current favorite is a rosary wrapped around my wrist. Just something to serve as a discreet and gentle physical reminder.

Addiction is a hard hard path to get out of. I am a recovered addict. Sober five years. Along with that I also have PTSD and I am hyper vigilant. I understand.

The hardest part about getting sober was walking away from everything. My friends that were addicts, my friends that werent, everyone that I hurt by being high... You will be alone at the other side but you will be sober. A great network of support and love may be there for you but it may also be waiting for when your sober enough to accept it.

Headphones in public work for me. Music. calming. Learning different breathing routines. Yoga... Being in public isnt easy. But remember its worst to stay in than it is to go out... I also go out of my way to park in a place that is "safe" to me.. a way out. That way if something does happen I have an exit plan. Just that knowledge alone is helpful to me. But there are still bad days and good. Being sober does not give you some special glowing life for quite awhile. Find a new routine to relax but just recognize you wont feel as good sober as you did. Your body and mind will build those chemicals back up in time. I have finally reached that point but I hope you understand that took years to really build back up. It is a hard path but it is the right path and you will be a stronger fuller person having traveled this road. One must find themselves lost in order to find the power in being found.

I hope you find good therapy, good coping medications and a great healthy support system. Day by day. One step at a time. The ptsd will not be gone because you are sober but it will actually begin to feel more manageable.

Thank you so much everybody for your kind, supportive responses. I have done all of those things, been in therapy for a long time. I had actually improved a lot, I used to live in an almost constant state of panic. Then some events occurred that caused PTSD, so now it's working on that. I've already improved a bit, it's just that I'm on the verge of stepping out from all those events and problems to functioning, and I am just feeling apprehensive about being out and about while having affects from PTSD. I didn't mean to make it sound like I was brand new to it all. I'm just wondering how others cope while functioning in the world, seems like it might be impossible, but since so many of you do it, I'm sure it's not. Thank you!!

I stopped functioning completely - like I could not get out of bed or even deal with the computer, so kudos for being here and asking for advice.
Medication and a good psychiatrist has been great for me. I have done talk therapy in the past and am now exploring CBT and DBT as alternatives therapies.
It doesn't make me happier about anything but I have noticed that when I trigger I may obsess about it for a few hours but it is not destroying me or my day *gentle hugs*

I script my public interactions heavily. I've had to stop working as a teacher because of PTSD hospitalizations 3 times in my career. I've lost jobs, friends, my home, family at those times. I'm happiest when I'm not in the hospital and out in the world teaching and functioning in a way that makes me purposeful.

So my lesson plans are scripted. I use powerpoints. My errands are scripted; I make lists when I go grocery shopping. I want to function so much and do so without feeding an addiction that I will do massive homework pre-scripting my functions so I can do them. Only others here with PTSD can possibly understand, I'm well aware.

It's worth it to me, which may sound trite but it's not when you've experienced the alternative as I have repeatedly. Good luck. I hope it's rewarding enough for you, too.