Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
Long story short for thsoe who don't recall me/didn'tmeet me. My dad and sis started abusing me when I wa sso young that I can't say I have a "pre-trauma" life.
When I was 13 my dad was dx'd with something that might could eventually kill him if he wasn't smart. He wasn't. ELEVEN years of that disease running our life --- of him runing our lives --- he died. It was the entirely worst period of my life for so many reasons, most of which being his temper was worse, my mom was less available, and I couldn't leave her alone with that jackass so even if I wanted to ignore his dying, my mom needed a break once a week from that asshole, so ... yeah
A few yeas ago my mom is dx'd with brain stuff an dheart stuff more recently. She could die any day. Or in 20 years. It's excruciating.
As of yesterday, my hubby is diagnosed with something scary, which means his bone marrow's not okay, and even if it doessn't go to something cancerous (which is the case in that disease)? He's still got this bone marrow issue that is fucking around. Pradon my English.
And here I am, both living my worst nightmares *losing two pillars of my life --- Mom an dnow HUBBY*.... while reliving the nightmare shit years of my dad's decline.
I can't walk, talk, even get a cup of water without falling down dizzy from panic and PTSD emotiona-flashback-tsunamis.
They got Hubby in for bone marrow bipsy tomorrow, two weeks before earliest alleged scheduled.
I am falling apart, in crisis, whatever you call it, and I'm screaming and screaming inside but I have to be okay and I don't know how to stop feeling like my heart will race till I get sweaty-dizzy and pass out cold.
I've tried breathing, but...
PLEASE why is this happening to me why is my hubby in danger why why why can't I do this without the PTSD shit and my dad's bullshit coming up and watching a loved one with the slow decline and and and and and
Please someone tell me how to live like this b/c I have to and I don't know
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
***Shows up at your doorstep with soup, tissues, a book with pictures of trees, and a pillow to scream into.***
Do you have a prn med for anxiety??.....If you don't I'd see your doctor..... Ativan sublingual works quite quickly .... I can't see your family doctor not giving you some relief for this..... xo
We are all here for u. I know its hard to take time out to care for u right now but please do try do some nice things urself. Hugs leo.
Are you f-ing kidding me?
I don't ahve a family doc anymore. He retired. I haven't found a new one. I just bounce from whoever has appointments.
I'm using out-of-date PRNs. And they are definitely out of date. One pill used to help me for 8 hours. Now it's like 90 minutes-ish. We're screaming at the psychiatrist about the prescription, but the red tape is in our way.
Last night, we were talking about adopting a cat. We thought we'd ahve a little time... digest this and make positive moves.... No time... No time... my sis died like that, day afte rher bridal shower, no time, dammit.
And Hubby's bone marrow is scheduled when I usually have PTSD therapy, FFS.
I'm not killing myself, but I so wish my stupid PRNs weren't expired. I wasu sing so few that the script expired about a year ago and the pills about six months ago were getting "past use-able". And now my p-doc fucks up a form and I'm screwed till I see him IN PERSON AGAIN.
And my SIL said something horrible and stupid as usual to upset me and Hubby, and it's like, THat's her brother, can't she care about him for two seconds? Instead of bitching how upset *I* made her by telling her what's going on in the same clinical-as-can-be e-mail I sent to all, per Hubby's request?
Oh, yeah, a bitchy sister --- ANOTHER PTSD trigger
Sanity is an island and I am far out to sea
Doctors 'usually' have drug samples as drug companies want the doctors to use their drugs
I would let your doctor know that you are really in dire straights at present.... xo
Reliving hell of my childhood fears when my dad was sick off/on for so long, and living this same time. PTSD is hell.
Praying I hold together enough to get Hubby throught he procedure. Oncew e're home, the sedation means he'll sleep till tomrorow morning probably. I can break down then.
He's getting this done with sedation b/c he's needle-phobic to the point he'd complicate the biopsy by being aware of it. He doesn't even know it uses needles. The doctor said simply "We go in", and that was enough. I was giving the doc the "don't mention needles" sign. Or Hubby'd be in Brazil, hiding, by now...
(I see Leo as the one standing on guard.)
https://www.pexels.com/photo/adorable-animals-cats-cute-236230/
my advise is try not to take it to the `worst-case scenario' in your mind. i know for me, that'd be damned hard as i lost my best friend in the world to a wasting disease, but from what you're describing, it sounds like for the time, he's safe. i figure if he were in real danger, they would keep him in for observation.
picture a challenge, but please not a death sentence. you both sound like resiliant, tough folks, so i picture him kicking this problem right in the ass.