Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.

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Helping someone else

specializedCameron
specializedCameron

my wife has had chronic PTSD for as long as ive known her, but recently shes been having constant nightmares. i wake up and shes trashing around in the bed. i wake her, but i dont know what to say. she lays and cries. i want to know how to really help her

SimpsonsOK
SimpsonsOK
Cam, maybe just holding her if she is OK with that. Telling her you love her and she is safe, then asking her for how you can help. When the flashbacks occur in our sleep, we need grounding. These are ways to ground her, but she needs to tell you how. Do see if there is a group nearby that is there to support those who are dealing with a loved one with PTSD. Comforting hugs.
arfie
arfie
Hello Cameron. Welcome to DS.

Gentle empathy. I've been on both sides of the PTSD help desk and I am far from sure which is harder: going through it myself or watching someone I care about going through it.

"Ears open. Mouth shut." is my favorite mantra when I am on the supporter side of the desk. Seems to me that efforts to *fix* and/or solve problems for the person I am trying to help only makes them feel more damaged and insecure. Listening while they sort and lots of reassurance that they can manage the whatevers of the day builds confidence. Sometimes it helps to have somebody who can believe in them until they can believe in themselves again.

Don't forget to take good care of yourself in this. Co-dependency is a serious threat in these scenarios. You won't help your wife a bit by spiraling the proverbial drain with her.
AnnieToman
AnnieToman
simple, no word needed , just hold her, and a I LOVE YOU SWEETY wouldnt hurt. caring and kindness, is what she needs at that moment, Do that and you done the best you could.
patti22
patti22
Most people want to be held...but ask her. She's the one that knows what will help.

Beyond that, don't try to "fix" her. Don't try to make the nightmares "go away". Tell her that she's perfect just the way she is, and that while for her sake, you hope that the nightmares lessen, but for your sake you're perfectly fine with them.
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