Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
my wife has had chronic PTSD for as long as ive known her, but recently shes been having constant nightmares. i wake up and shes trashing around in the bed. i wake her, but i dont know what to say. she lays and cries. i want to know how to really help her
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When i was in the ER February 16th 2025, i was being admitted to ICU where i was for 3 weeks, then had to relearn to walk for 3 weeks in another hospital rehab floor, the nurse told me something that made me feel for over 18 months now that i was finally *safe*. She told me that the guy who raped and beat me 21 years ago now almost 20 years at that time, was in prison as of a month before that...
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Sometimes, I think I have ODD. I can be oppositional. It seems that the only times that I feel like cleaning are when I should be doing something else or I have to go somewhere. Well, not everytime but most of the time. Yesterday, I was supposed to be doing online training for work but instead, I decided to work on my kitchen table. Most of the time, I don't know where to start and give...
Gentle empathy. I've been on both sides of the PTSD help desk and I am far from sure which is harder: going through it myself or watching someone I care about going through it.
"Ears open. Mouth shut." is my favorite mantra when I am on the supporter side of the desk. Seems to me that efforts to *fix* and/or solve problems for the person I am trying to help only makes them feel more damaged and insecure. Listening while they sort and lots of reassurance that they can manage the whatevers of the day builds confidence. Sometimes it helps to have somebody who can believe in them until they can believe in themselves again.
Don't forget to take good care of yourself in this. Co-dependency is a serious threat in these scenarios. You won't help your wife a bit by spiraling the proverbial drain with her.
Beyond that, don't try to "fix" her. Don't try to make the nightmares "go away". Tell her that she's perfect just the way she is, and that while for her sake, you hope that the nightmares lessen, but for your sake you're perfectly fine with them.