Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I posted this weekend about how things in my own life were calm lately, feeling too calm, really. I think I found out what the cosmos had in store with that. I was meant to be calm to help someone else, maybe. But it's a big job and I can't do it without your support here.
Today a wonderful student I'll call J. came by my office crying. She's a 40+ year old non-traditional student in my community college class. She has spoken out very well in class on her PTSD recovery from being a battered wife. Excellent student, person, role model.
Today she came by my office on campus crying. Her daughter, who I'll call B., was raped this past summer, something J. hadn't told me before. Tomorrow the guy who raped B is going to court, but on a lesser charge than rape because it was date rape and the prosecutor doesn't want to charge the whole felony.
The rapist has been calling her and harassing her in spite of an order of protection, the prosecutor has been asking that B. get more evidence. Basically the case is a mess, and B. has PTSD from the rape that is being worsened by all of the mishandling of the case and the rapist's contacts with her by phone. That, in turn, has triggered J.'s PTSD as a mom.
J.'s son W. is also my student. He's a big guy, built like a football lineman, and he's enraged at how his sister B. is being treated. He's worrying his mom J. with his desire to go take the rapist out himself. An understandable feeling for any guy, true, but not helping at the moment.
When J. came by the office today to tell me and have a cry, we closed the door and had a prayer together. Nice, but it didn't comfort her in the least, and I wouldn't have felt that comforted by such a thing myself if I were in her shoes.
Would you all send prayers and/or good vibes to J, B, and W for the next few days? And for me, too, since they come to me to cry on my shoulder. It's all I can offer, really. All anybody can, I suppose. I wish I could do more. It's not enough, I know. But to be a companion to their suffering is all I've got, really. It's all I ever have, sad to say.
But at least I can tell them a whole bunch of people who have been through this kind of messy craziness are out there pulling for them.
Today a wonderful student I'll call J. came by my office crying. She's a 40+ year old non-traditional student in my community college class. She has spoken out very well in class on her PTSD recovery from being a battered wife. Excellent student, person, role model.
Today she came by my office on campus crying. Her daughter, who I'll call B., was raped this past summer, something J. hadn't told me before. Tomorrow the guy who raped B is going to court, but on a lesser charge than rape because it was date rape and the prosecutor doesn't want to charge the whole felony.
The rapist has been calling her and harassing her in spite of an order of protection, the prosecutor has been asking that B. get more evidence. Basically the case is a mess, and B. has PTSD from the rape that is being worsened by all of the mishandling of the case and the rapist's contacts with her by phone. That, in turn, has triggered J.'s PTSD as a mom.
J.'s son W. is also my student. He's a big guy, built like a football lineman, and he's enraged at how his sister B. is being treated. He's worrying his mom J. with his desire to go take the rapist out himself. An understandable feeling for any guy, true, but not helping at the moment.
When J. came by the office today to tell me and have a cry, we closed the door and had a prayer together. Nice, but it didn't comfort her in the least, and I wouldn't have felt that comforted by such a thing myself if I were in her shoes.
Would you all send prayers and/or good vibes to J, B, and W for the next few days? And for me, too, since they come to me to cry on my shoulder. It's all I can offer, really. All anybody can, I suppose. I wish I could do more. It's not enough, I know. But to be a companion to their suffering is all I've got, really. It's all I ever have, sad to say.
But at least I can tell them a whole bunch of people who have been through this kind of messy craziness are out there pulling for them.
I strongly suggest that the family confront the bastard prosecutor publicly. like maybe big signs telling about the bastards enabling a rapist behavior. Go to the press.
I wouldn't be surprised if there were organizations that would take the victims and her family's side in this whole mess.
its a fight situation. just gotta find a positive fighting method. I don't think they should let the prosecutor nor the rapist get away with it. the family will set themselves up for worse long lasting trauma.
no guarantee but at least their fighting it.
I am sending my deepest thoughts and prayers for strength, healing, wisdom to know what to do to protect and heal. The whole family is in my warmest wishes.
I know it also happens to other genders, but on date rape, it is usually the guy that is thinking with his appendage. Then there is also the fear that family will retaliate themselves, being put in jail for their actions. So the victim will often hide the attack and end up here with us. Just because an appendage does the thinking!
My heart and prayers, I know mom(or any parent) believes they failed in some way of protecting their child for these a**ho*es, But really how do you do that without raising a child to be paranoid in the world?
How awesome it is that you are there for them! Keep that positive helpful spirit up, Muji The prayer you shared may seem like it didn't comfort her, but it did not go unheard, no matter whether or not it seemed not to comfort and console her at that moment.
Let's continue to pray also for the judge, and yes, even the perp that God's will be done.
Keep us posted... thanks for sharing.
DS PTSD is an amazing site that way. I'm sorry you've been through this before, but that very fact shows people can get through even this kind of failure of the system toward victims of sexual violence. Now I can go back to this family and tell them that others have gotten through this and I know because they (YOU) said so. Thanks so much, your voices make hope real even in an unfair situation such as this.
Bless you all and thank you for your prayers and good thoughts for real hope.
one man I confronted was a Pastor/Brother running a boys home. what a bastard. no help from the law. what a horror experience. he didn't suffer any consequences. but you now what? no more boys were sent to his home and the ones he had were moved to other homes and he died old and alone.
before you think I am being cruel. I went to him first. I told him I wanted him to explain himself and apologize and to voluntarily step down and close his home.
he was out of touch with realty. he looked me straight in the eyes, sweat pouring down his face, and said " I don't do that anymore, I've changed my life."
" I don't believe you."
no apology. so I went to the law. if you want to know the truth, I knew deep inside the system would betray me. but I didn't make easy for them.
and the first man to ever do things to me besides my father. an uncle. he died in slow agonizing death. I coudnt feel for him. I tried. but I couldn't . after he did his evil. I took money off his nightstand. he had the gall to call my parents and tell them I stole money from his house. and this was after he sexually abused!!!
why what I tell. it was the norm as far as I knew.
I fully feel for that family. and I fully don't feel for the others.
In an unrelated other moment after a different class today, an older nontraditional female student stayed after class to tell me she just found out she has liver cancer.
We're not the only people who need support, it seems. I told her about you here and how you pray and send good thoughts to people like her, and she seemed comforted.
Sending Comforting thoughts and Prayers, Blaine
I'm trying to be positive and constructive, but I have some residual anger toward how the prosecutor suggested she "fax" her victim's statement in instead. It seems to fit a pattern as to his attitude toward the case as a whole. A real frenemy, you know? A part of me just wants to tell him to get on board or get out of the way.
warm prayers and thought for the student with liver cancer.