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hate people hate people
I am easily bullied by just about anyone. There has been an older lady who fusses who constantly wants to help, especially with those things I can't do out at the stable. She is not very horse savvy, and her horse is almost unhandlable. She has spoken to me about paying me money to help her get her horse closer to where mine is...
Anyway, she has been bugging me about letting her groom my horses. I am fine with that when I am there. Then last weekend she found out that my horse has a slight bacteria/yeast infection in his feet. It is called thrush and is only a big deal if it is a bad case - which it is not. But she fussed at me until I gave her permission to clean out his feet everyday and apply medication. I could not see how it could hurt anything. But then again I was in so much pain and stress I did not think things through...
Yesterday I get a ping from the stable owner that the woman has pulled my horse away from his dinner to give him a full bath. I got the ping as the stable owner knows that this is NOT safe with this horse. I have owned him for 15 years and won't get near him before he is done eating. He is a big horse who is neuritic about food and will turn from the 'old gray mare who ain't what she used to be' to killer stallion who will rear and strike with intention of causing harm.
Playing 'telephone' though the stable owner over my facebook PM going to her Smart Phone for her to say to the person... can you see the problems?
Add to that what she actually DID with my horse... He is a pinto that is mostly white with some red patches, but his skin is pink. She scrubbed him down to pink skin - then waited until he was dry and put him away!!! OK that means that he could not roll in dust to protect his skin from sunburn... sigh. So now he is sunburnt.
The stable owner pinged me tonight that this was getting out of control and we grabbed the keys and left for the stable. I was in a slinky dress because it was cool, and soft soled suede boots. Just what you want to wear to the horse stable.
Hubby was briefed as we drove over, and he was in full form to take 100% of the situation. There were three boarders there and he did not who was the one that there was an issue with... as hubby says "hi!" in a happy voice, the woman lays into me for close to ten minutes. She is so aggressive that she even over-talks hubby!
I feel my hands start to shake as my vision goes telescopic and I just walked out of the conversation to the tack room and grabbed my bridle... I walked past the conversation again, but my hearing was going in and out as I opened the stall to my horse and slipped on his bridle and took him into the arena. It was not until I had him next to my mounting ladder that I noticed my floor length dress and his lack of saddle - but I got on anyway.
He walked around the arena while I tried not to scream, with my eyes glued shut - but I could just hear the voices of the conversation and though I could not hear the words, the noise was slicing into my soul like a hot knife. I was shaking so bad I thought I might fall offf.
so I left. I can open the arena gate from his back and did not bother to close it. I rode past hubby and told him I could not stay and he waved me off. My horse was full of himself, upset because he was hungry, and spooky because it was starting to get dark and he usually goes out with other horses.
Having to focus on the road, cars going by, keeping my horse calm, not falling off, and just the feel of his muscles moving as he walked forced my mind to calm down. Slowly, we both relaxed into the walk and I just breathed. We went about 1/2 mile down the road and turned around before the area I usually let him loose to run - I was NOT dressed for that.
My horse is great and in spite of everything being stacked against my getting home alive, he delivered me safely back to the barn. My dress may or may not have survived - horse sweat and hair is not good for dresses. Hubby put my horse up and drove me home.
I am shaking, but have not ended up screaming. I am hoping it stays that way. The stable owner is on PM with me - worried if I am ok. That boarder is going to be asked to leave - and now I feel bad about that...
I can't win and I want to curl up and just cry....
yadlim and critters
I am easily bullied by just about anyone. There has been an older lady who fusses who constantly wants to help, especially with those things I can't do out at the stable. She is not very horse savvy, and her horse is almost unhandlable. She has spoken to me about paying me money to help her get her horse closer to where mine is...
Anyway, she has been bugging me about letting her groom my horses. I am fine with that when I am there. Then last weekend she found out that my horse has a slight bacteria/yeast infection in his feet. It is called thrush and is only a big deal if it is a bad case - which it is not. But she fussed at me until I gave her permission to clean out his feet everyday and apply medication. I could not see how it could hurt anything. But then again I was in so much pain and stress I did not think things through...
Yesterday I get a ping from the stable owner that the woman has pulled my horse away from his dinner to give him a full bath. I got the ping as the stable owner knows that this is NOT safe with this horse. I have owned him for 15 years and won't get near him before he is done eating. He is a big horse who is neuritic about food and will turn from the 'old gray mare who ain't what she used to be' to killer stallion who will rear and strike with intention of causing harm.
Playing 'telephone' though the stable owner over my facebook PM going to her Smart Phone for her to say to the person... can you see the problems?
Add to that what she actually DID with my horse... He is a pinto that is mostly white with some red patches, but his skin is pink. She scrubbed him down to pink skin - then waited until he was dry and put him away!!! OK that means that he could not roll in dust to protect his skin from sunburn... sigh. So now he is sunburnt.
The stable owner pinged me tonight that this was getting out of control and we grabbed the keys and left for the stable. I was in a slinky dress because it was cool, and soft soled suede boots. Just what you want to wear to the horse stable.
Hubby was briefed as we drove over, and he was in full form to take 100% of the situation. There were three boarders there and he did not who was the one that there was an issue with... as hubby says "hi!" in a happy voice, the woman lays into me for close to ten minutes. She is so aggressive that she even over-talks hubby!
I feel my hands start to shake as my vision goes telescopic and I just walked out of the conversation to the tack room and grabbed my bridle... I walked past the conversation again, but my hearing was going in and out as I opened the stall to my horse and slipped on his bridle and took him into the arena. It was not until I had him next to my mounting ladder that I noticed my floor length dress and his lack of saddle - but I got on anyway.
He walked around the arena while I tried not to scream, with my eyes glued shut - but I could just hear the voices of the conversation and though I could not hear the words, the noise was slicing into my soul like a hot knife. I was shaking so bad I thought I might fall offf.
so I left. I can open the arena gate from his back and did not bother to close it. I rode past hubby and told him I could not stay and he waved me off. My horse was full of himself, upset because he was hungry, and spooky because it was starting to get dark and he usually goes out with other horses.
Having to focus on the road, cars going by, keeping my horse calm, not falling off, and just the feel of his muscles moving as he walked forced my mind to calm down. Slowly, we both relaxed into the walk and I just breathed. We went about 1/2 mile down the road and turned around before the area I usually let him loose to run - I was NOT dressed for that.
My horse is great and in spite of everything being stacked against my getting home alive, he delivered me safely back to the barn. My dress may or may not have survived - horse sweat and hair is not good for dresses. Hubby put my horse up and drove me home.
I am shaking, but have not ended up screaming. I am hoping it stays that way. The stable owner is on PM with me - worried if I am ok. That boarder is going to be asked to leave - and now I feel bad about that...
I can't win and I want to curl up and just cry....
yadlim and critters
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Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
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My day...today...misplaced my debit card...didn't realize it until I got to the register after shopping to a full cart. Used a different debit card and pulled apart everything looking for missing debit card before I left parking lot. Got home, dropped keys. So now I have a missing debit card, missing keys. A full cartload to unload and put away. I got everything put away.Dumped purse for a...
So sorry about this. Reminds me of my best friend's wife whom I'm visiting right now. Poor thing, she really struggles with bipolar disorder, something so akin to PTSD that I can really empathize. But then she likes to play around with her meds, which doesn't work out that well. She turns to manic bullying at times like that, and even targets house guests like me. I don't know how he takes it. Glad I don't have to.
I don't think you should have to put up with this boarder. Hope you don't have to. Sounds like the stable owner in on the case in the right way, supporting you.
Keep us posted, ok?
I question the boarder's thinking and I encourage you to do the same. I've been in situations like yours where I took action that got someone else in trouble. I felt like I was being a tattle tale. In the end, I decided to answer one question before I started judging myself. I decided to answer the question, "Why were they doing that?" And sometimes I would ask the person, "Why did you do that?" It's amazing what stupid answers I got sometimes. Or better yet, a stunned silence.
There's something wrong with the boarder you were referring to. There's just something malfunctioning in their brain. Honestly, I feel sorry for them. And I feel sorry for your horse and any other animal that person may have come into contact with. That person does not need to be supervising animals. They need to be supervised by animals, maybe a service dog or a therapeutic cat to help sooth them. It's sad to realize that someone is being delusional and thinking they are healthy enough to take care of a horse when they can't think straight. I think the boarder meant well, but in the end it is just sad.
Maybe this person got away with a bunch of abusive behavior in the past because people didn't want to get them in trouble. Good for you for speaking up! You may not feel good at the moment, but I'm sure you feel safer about how your horse will be treated. Way to go! You protected your horse from future cruelty and abuse! It is sad that the person abusing the horse had to get in trouble because they don't have enough common sense to know when they are hurting an animal. If it wasn't you reporting them this time, it would have been someone else reporting something in the future.
I'm glad it turned out as well as it did. Your horse did not die. The boarder didn't get hurt by you or your husband. And the owner of the stable made sure everyone else and their horses were kept safe from the abuser. I'd count that as a win.
I am blessed to have Shawn on board.
Shawn understands being too terrified to respond, as some others in my head have that response.
Shawn opines that you should rehearse calmly saying " go fuck yourself," and practice delivering this phrase with maximum nonchalance. That you should do this daily, perhaps with a willing and knowing participant even, so you can learn, slowly, to not be terrified of douchebags, a little at a time.
I want you to be happy. Shawn, being who he is, would like you to learn to Happen to truly deserving persons.
This lady was a very not nice woman.
You were getting freaked and needed to get out of there.
We think that lady is kinda nuts, not in a good way.
Wow, and I hope you and your equine buddy are okay.... Gentle hugs....
And it's official, we need t-shirts saying "We're diagnosed, you're in denial"!
I know my horse - I have owned him since he was 18 months old and he is now 16 years old. He can be handled safely by five years olds... under the right circumstances. But I also know that under the wrong circumstances he is 1200 lbs of out of control hysteria who will do ANYTHING to get away and back to food.
I have been on his back when he got scared of a rock - yes, a rock, a big, lets block cars from going down the horse trail rock! That ended with him rearing over backwards on top of me (somehow I was not hurt) him landing on said rock and shredding his back legs down to the bone. He wound up with just short of 200 stitches and one repaired artery. I love Shaman, but he can be very dangerous!
I know the woman was just trying to help. I know she does not believe that my horse can be dangerous. After all, I am the most broken person you will ever see out at a horse stable an I handle him - but only when I know he is going to be the calm horse. I know when to avoid him to stay away from his bad times - which are 90% centered around food and 10% centered around being without another horse.
I know she is on full disability.. and that I am one of the last boarders to try to befriend her. I feel bad, but she burned these bridges. I was not even there.
The stable owner was terrified that the woman was going to get herself killed - on the stable property, can we say liable? She knows my horse and his Dr Heckle/Mr Hide personality. What I can gather is that I got the brunt of the woman being angry of the stable owner trying to stop a dangerous situation.
The one time my daughter met her before she left, she thought the woman was dangerous. I should have listened, but when I am by myself, I get bullied so easily. Hubby drives me out to the stable, but due to his allergies this time of the year, he spends 90% of the time hiding in the car.
Lilly - most important. I read what you meant. You are angry WITH me, not AT me. You join me in being upset.
In a couple hours I will be loading my daughter's horse into the trailer and heading off with the stable owner for the great trails to forget all my troubles... then I will be ok. Then I will stop shaking.
thank you all for the support... I am so stressed about this....
yadlim and my critters
The way it helps me is because I have severe trust issues with the entire human species when it is very specific individuals who are causing the problem. All too often, that very specific individual is just me... Other times it is just one lonely old woman looking for love in all the wrong places.
But that is me...
Sorry your pony got caught up in all this. Glad you stood up for him.
I am not a horse person, but I have noted that even the most unflappable and well-mannered horse...can still get very pissy At times.
And can be unpredictable, easily frightened, and easily injured.
Thus, even with a pony, you have a big animal that can cause seriously injury, seriously harm itself, or KILL YOU in the blink of an eye if not carefully minded...and it is waay stronger than you.
...I like horses, I'm just allergic to them...will stick with doggehs.