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I will be going back to work today. I think. I hope. I am The Boss and only employee so far, so there are no time clock or checks and balances to hold me accountable. I get full procrastination and/or emperimentation rights. This morning, instead of packing for departure, I find myself puddling with anxiety, haunted by the old adage, "Careful what you wish for. You might get it." My life is chock-full of proof that it is easier to get what I want than to want what I get.
My current project site is a four hour drive north of the house I share with hubs, our adult sons and their respective families, so I have been staying on the project site while I work. When I left the project site 9 days ago, I expected it to be for the weekend to help out with youngest son's family. Turned out hubs was in crisis and I stayed to help him through. I have not been enjoying the feel of losing myself once more in the poorly defined, mostly ungratifying and too often unstable demands of a work-a-holic husband and dependant middle-aged children. I feel like I am bouncing between endless days in the psychic echoes of an isolation chamber and frantic sprees of minding other people's business. It doesn't feel consistently healthy for anyone involved. Still, I care deeply about every single one of the people here. I am thoroughly impressed that hubs was able to recognize his own emotional repression through over-working the business end. He is looking more stable this week. We both feel confident that I can get back to work without leaving anybody with abandonment issues.
And I am currently working to calm the anxiety that getting what I want is going to result in yet another spectacular crash and burn.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
And I am off. . . Yes, keeping busy does indeed stop the brain from zipping in dizzy circles. I have had enough of this not working fun. Especially the toilet scrubbing after multiple adult bowel movements and tripping over abandoned adult child toys part. . .
Good luck on your project/inventions....
I'm sorry to hear about all the anxiety but I think maybe working alone would help, because there will be no added pressure on you, you can just take care of the anxiety that is already there while still getting your job done.
Hope your day is going great today :)
I am back at the project site now. Shiver me timbers!!! I know you folks in the sub-arctics are going to find it hard to empathize, but it is about 30 degrees colder than it was when I left this morning. The 95 year old farm shack I am staying in is colder than the frige. I have 3 space heaters cranking. Will opening the fridge warm it up faster?
Ah, the pioneer trials. . . I wonder if the internet was still spotty on them covered wagons. . .
poor Hank and the Moo have been forced to rest on leather couches in warm comfort; it's difficult bein them.
last time i was out there - Miss Moo was napping comfortably on top of Hank to absorb as much warmth from him as possible : ) pretty cute, but she's a smart one - him too. he lets her do it to warm his back up. every once in awhile the three of them do it/w/opie the red headed cherry on top. hoping you get warmed up soon.
this house has air for insulation.
somebody finally did try to break in the one window that i hoped they wouldn't, as i didn't want any injuries to happen to the window..... well, they tried and the poor window fell right apart on them. they gave up as i thought they might. only the bottom and the glass was exposed - we are repairing it. that is the royal we, not me. brat thinks the glass is sharp annd since the wood is wet and fit right back under there can wait until summer. brat has also made an executive decision to not be in charge of making decisions about any repairs OR when or how they happen or who does them. brat has complete faith that the person who knows how to do them, will handle it including any thinking or talking about it.
i live in the house that jack built, and nobody knows where jack is.... (((((hugs, arf))))) i'm so glad you got to go back up, happy weeding xoxo
I bet we'll survive this one, too.
I am clearing paddock stalls this week. Been running in to a tough little bugger called, "Devil's Claw." It's hook is tough enough that I am wondering if they merit a place in my hardware stash. Been collecting them, just in case. Still haven't seen a young one, but supposedly they are kind of like okra when they are young. This place is an herbal wonderland.
I hope you are feeling better now and staying warm at your worksite. Wow that sounds cold. I am glad your hubby has recognized his overworking and is starting to be more caring of himself and of you. You have a lot on your plate, but you are an amazing do-er. If anyone can accomplish all that, it is you.
I think its great that you have some of your own work to do now too. It gives you some time to yourself, something to do and occupy your mind, and hopefully it is something that you enjoy doing as well.
Much Support!!
But . . . Balance in all things. For now I am snuggled in my sleeping bag, waiting for the space heaters to work their magic. Packing, driving four hours and unpacking on this end earned me a break.