Who was the "genius" that misdiagnosed you??

"As a consequence of being wrongly diagnosed with BP and then treated for it with epilim and zoloft, I have spent the best part of the last decade so drugged up that I couldnt feel a thing or experience normal emotions".

Here we go another AH fucks up someone's life and what can you do? nothing.
This misdiagnosis in the mental health industry are all too common causing great havoc.
If it was a physical illness that was misdiagnosed you could sue.If it caused you great damage.

Sorry to hear that happened to you.

I would at least report the Doc that misdiagnose you and send him/her a letter.

Ah scalliwag, I'm not sure whether to laugh, or what!? Gee, I wish all the antidepressants and such I was prescribed over the years for PTSD had given me "highs" and a bubbly personality, that's sounds pretty good...I might have kept taking those instead of feeling depressed, marginalised, victimised, abandoned, violated. Was that what you meant by normal? So as for getting bored with feeling just "normal" again- not sure what to make of that statement...TRYING to regain a sense of normality is a huge challenge and your labelling it as something "boring" isn't even in the ball park of the same planet as me emotionally (and I'm from WA). Having PTSD doesn't present as normal off drugs, or on drugs unless you are bloody lucky (or don't have it)..it isn't normal- it's kind of "buggered"- of course I can only speak for myself and even I'm still hoping "Magic Happens" like the bumpersticker says!

From your description, you may be experiencing a form of arrested development from the fog produced by drug therapy. Going back on meds sounds like a poor idea to me. Firstly, if you are still coming off meds, your emotions are bound to be all over the place until you stabilise some time in the future. This might take a few months, it might happen more quickly. It's impossible to say really. Then you would need to assess what PTSD symptoms (or others) are remaining and how you are coping with these in every day life. What sort of functionality do you have, and if some therapy ie, CBT or other, might help control or eliminate your symptoms. You may not need drugs to control your symptoms...they are not great for your health and if you can get by without them, that would be ideal. I wouldn't be too quick to judge your current state as your typical baseline until some time has passed completely drug-free. The great benefit of being drug-free is that you can experience genuine emotion and the real highs and lows of life. It is these that will help you mature emotionally, and given you are in your early thirties with presumably friends in that bracket also, emotional development will likely be accelerated. Consider getting to know the real YOU as an adventure in self-discovery so why does it have to be boring? You can experiment with putting yourself in all kinds of situations and see how you go. Test your boundaries, build up your confidence. Be brave, you can do it. What the heck would you want to go back to "so drugged up I couldnt feel a thing"? That isn't living either. I don't feel "normal" and wouldn't be bored if I did feel norma!! Drugs suck, and being ill sucks as well. You haven't mentioned if you have kids either...given the heavy meds I am guessing not. Once stabilised, perhaps consider the possibility of a real intimate (drug-free) relationship and the "having children" phase of your life which you may have put off due to meds and feeling like a teenager still (bi's can have kids too). You aren't a teen though and your mind may have to catch up with that idea. You might just find that you blossom into somebody terrific. Good luck

Yeah, I agree with Southerly. If you want my normal PTSD symptoms, you can have them. They do not feel normal to me, and I would choose boring any day. I feel weird, tense, depressed, anxious, terrified and you name it.
We with PTSD live in an internal chaos so much of the time that normal does feel strange. I often don't trust normal because I am waiting for the next bad thing to happen to set off my PTSD.
If I were you, I'd settle for boring and the ordinary. Wanting a drug-induced elevated mood can be addicting.

I had a pdoc that put me on 900mg of Seraquel for about a year. I was a vegetable. And I had kids who couldn't reach me through the haze. But I was so mentally ill I was sure my doc must be right and the horrible side-effects of that much drug must some how be the best I could do.

Even now "normal" is very nice when it comes. But PTSD is a condition that leaves me with a lot of feelings to deal with. Everyday is an effort to get better and to grow despite the nightmares. I think I'm normal but that's only because I've come to believe most people are fairly screwed up.

All the stuff Southerly said is good advice. Keep us posted on your journey. I really wish you the best in your new not hyperactive life.

Thanks so much for your thoughts!, all very true. I am glad Im not the only one who is going through such things

I was prescribed zoloft for acute anxiety levels. I went in to the doctors with my list of physical symptoms, details including food, drink, feelings, actions, and results.
I felt better after a month, took myself off, and after three weeks, had a major trauma, so am on zoloft again, with improved well-being.
When you are misdiagnosed, all too often, we forget that as the patient, we are the ones with the complete medical history.
The doctor is part of our team.
By going through the physical symptoms that affected my normal daily living activities the most, I was able to get the worst symptoms dealt with first. I am still "in progress", and I journal frequently to keep my recovery moving forward.
When I was misdiagnosed, I sat down, figured out what was missing from the actual doctor's visit, made a return visit and asked the doctor what the additional symptoms would have given him - and we found the positive result together.
Best wishes in finding the right path to healing.

Wow. I could have written your post nearly word for word! Formerly Dx as bipolar, on bp drugs for the better part of a decade, and we're about the same age. I've been med free since January and it's tough! However, having REAL emotions is worth the struggle. Yes, at times things have gotten bad, but unless I hit rock bottom, I'm not going back on meds. It's hard to identify what I'm feeling sometimes, but one of my past therapists taught me to stop and say to myself "in this moment I feel ______". It teaches me to stop and examine my feelings. It isn't always easy to identify how I'm feeling, but over time it comes more naturally. Hugs, Sunny