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My granddaughter is the first female born into my husband's paternal line in 103 years. Even the one born 103 years ago was a fluke. She had 4 brothers and no sisters. I have often felt like the in-law events are more like a visit to the boy's locker room than anything to do with family. Hubs and I have had some major Tit for Tat blowouts over that feeling, so I approach the subject with great trepidation. I am adrogenous enough to have been able to pass myself off as a boy and actually visit boy's locker rooms, in addition to 5 brothers (5 sisters) and a carreer in construction and engineering. I think I have some clues on that part. Not so much on the functional family part. The 5 boys and 6 girls in my own birth family were a travelling kiddie whorehouse, all orientations served. I don't much trust my own family conditioning, either. In living fact, I still dissociate allot around anything domestic. Even families of strangers in the park can spark my still compulsive dissociation habits.
The granddaughter is only 7 months old. A second girl is due in the BIL's family branch any day now. Still not much voice from the new family faction, but I think I am already detecting some changes in the family dynamics. I think. Maybe.
Thoughts and reality checks welcome. Am I projecting? Conjecturing? Tilting windmills? Setting the stage for self-fulfilling prophecies?
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
Let the wheels spin, Arfie, and the bees buzz. The questions that stem from the questions in my life tend to need lots of time in the stewpot before i catch the flavor.
Hugs and support!
My chief commiserater on this dynamic was my sister's husband. He died last year. I miss him. His family is as intensely female as mine is male. He understood that feeling of being in the wrong locker room intimately.
A totally irrelevant ramble,s orry, but having to "guy out" as self-defense has never left me...
Every situation that should've terrified me? I just told myself from 1982 onward, "It means I can leave for good someday".
I agree, guys who do "girl" stuff are far more punished than girls who do "guy" stuff. More disdain, maybe? Hard to define, but it's tragic either direction.
Yeah, we didn't get much press. We embarrassed the school district b/c we meant there weren't enough boys into football that they could do without the dairy farm kids. Which was no embarrassment to us, but in a football-manic state like thst? Oh, it was "shame". Sheesh.
I remember state sicnece fair. Both years I went, the girls were outnumbered five or six to one. I felt like theonly female voice I ever heard was the hotel housekeeping staff.