I am still learning how to cry, but I believe I experienced the same with different manifestations throughout my therapy. Still do. My latest thought on it is that it is the proverbial "Eye of the hurricane." The storm is not over. I am ^just^ marshaling my resources for the productive round of dealing with the dysfunctions.

Just a personal, just-a-patient theory. The fact that I deal with something similar doesn't rule out the potential freak-factor. It takes considerable ignorance to mistake me for Missus Normal.

Continued support while you figure out what it is for you, Silver.

Big hugs and support.... I'm often going from one to the other. Shutdown meltdown shutdown meltdown.... SOmetimes I find a happy place in between, and it's happening more regularly, but it's not exactly a "given". I'm told by the therapist that it will be. Healing hopes, Silver....

BTW, with me, it's that I hate being seen vulnerable, and shut down to keep from being punished for being emotion-showing. We think. I dunno. Maybe. But it makes more sense than other explanations thus far....

You're not a freak, you are one of millions of people (including me) who have symptoms like you describe. And you are one of the smart ones, as you are in touch with your mood changes and are in therapy, which you seem to take very seriously. It gets better! May God bless you.

No, you're not a freak.

TW

Triggers of trauma when I was tortured by a military patrol hit me while I listened to a sermon on social justice by a minister at church Sunday. After church trying to make small talk with the minister after his sermon, suddenly I began to sob. It was embarrassing, but given the topic of the sermon it was understandable. Fortunately another parishioner there who saw it told me so.

No, you're not a freak. Much support to you.

I am having a hard time with crying as well...I can totally relate to you right now. Going through some issues myself. Dissociating as well...it's rough, No you are not freak...therapy is sometimes hard and it's a journey and we have our downfalls and we climb again...it has to be slow and gradual...hang in there and sending thoughts and support your way. take care

Thank You All for your thoughtful,supportive and validating replies...i guess i am just going to have to try and be patient with myself and trust the process...Thank You again.

Thank You,Doo...

No you are not a freak and you are not alone in this. Everyone processes differently and it definitely takes time. I agree, you are on a journey and eventually you will be able to look back and see how far you have come. Please continue to take care of yourself and thank you for sharing.

Thank You,saltandlight...

You're not a freak & I relate to this, thank you for putting it into words. I feel that my reasoning is that I feel like a fool for opening up (which isn't true and is unhealthy I know), but that causes me to just shut down all together and try to seem strong afterward. Idk but it's funny to read this since I noticed it the other day, I was so shy and could barely look her in the eyes after crying hysterically (which btw felt amazing afterwards) the week before. It's hard to open up maybe we need to learn to trust our therapists more and realize that is what they are there for.

betterpath...yes,you're so right we do need to trust our therapists....they see this all the time,i'm sure.

Thank You for your reply...