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Flashback Sequence

arfie
arfie

I was knocked off my feet by another flashback sequence during my river time yesterday. I am congratulating myself on being able to ride out the dissociation part with fair efficiency. I believe I have full memory of the episode and believe the processing is well under-way. I think. Works in progress.


This flashback sequence began with a warm and delightful memory of an activity I enjoyed my entire life and enjoyed sharing with him in our early years together which eventually evolved into trauma drama around the time of our first separation in 1989. I had completely forgotten we had ever shared this delight, though it is now unthinable that I could even attempt to share this delight with him now. I never lost the memory of the reasons I no longer share this diversion with him.


My wonder of this post is of how many of my flashback episodes begin with warm and delightful memories which eventually grew nasty. Is it possible I am repressing the good memories even harder than the bad ones. I feel the shame and guilt of a delusional fool when I remember the good parts.


Thoughts? Experience?

mlr0853
mlr0853
Humm I posted and it's gone?? Any way, was wondering if you contacted real estate people and owners are willing could you rent out this house as a 'protective/safety' measure for short term until it sells....My brother and I did this with my Mom's house.
arfie
arfie
I try not to conduct business while I am experiencing psychosis. First things first.
mlr0853
mlr0853
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEMuAnFH_lM Peace
blat
blat
I don't remember any good memories without the good memories turning into bad things that happened when something started out good. I've never thought that I could be repressing good memories to but that makes sense because how can there be good when there was so much bad and if there was good then why was there bad?
arfie
arfie
It remains a bit of a mystery to me, as well. Maybe the good memories are just easier to repress? Is it a recurring theme in life that the good things in life are better behaved than the horrors?
patti22
patti22
Kind of the opposite for me. The good memories are harder to repress, process....my Achilles's heel....

There's a line from the a Simon & Garfunkel song..."if I never loved, I never would have cried"

https://play.google.com/music/preview/Tetbg22svkyor2pha6t67ixg55u?lyrics=1&utm_source=google&utm_medium=search&utm_campaign=lyrics&pcampaignid=kp-lyrics&u=0#
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