Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
lllovelyrecovery
Tonight, a female who claimed she was a friend of my brother's stole money from us. Since being abused and trying to recover, I find myself with a lot of anger. The moment someone does something against me, I plot revenge. I prepare to pounce like a lion after its prey. Kinda like trying to get them before they get you.
She kept telling me to fight her. She's on parole and I told her I'm not about to let her get away with threats or stealing, and that I'm calling her officer.
She kept screaming threats at me and told me she was going to hurt me (I won't use the words she did)
Honestly all I want to do is take her down. I don't know where it came from but I feel violent. I want her to get hurt.
I'm now safe in my bed but I cant shake this awful feeling of anger and disgust and sadness?
So much anger. I don't know how to handle this,
She kept telling me to fight her. She's on parole and I told her I'm not about to let her get away with threats or stealing, and that I'm calling her officer.
She kept screaming threats at me and told me she was going to hurt me (I won't use the words she did)
Honestly all I want to do is take her down. I don't know where it came from but I feel violent. I want her to get hurt.
I'm now safe in my bed but I cant shake this awful feeling of anger and disgust and sadness?
So much anger. I don't know how to handle this,
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Writing out my anger or ranting helps me manage it.
Break stuff in private, burn her in effigy in your back yard, hate her guts. But it's really good of you that you had the presence of mind not to accept her invitation into a fight with her. That right there shows how you're really the mentally healthy party in this conflict. You proved yourself. Good for you!
It really makes me sad that having PTSD gives us a bad reputation. The stigma hurts.. Especially because I actually managed to be pretty reasonable in this situation! I'm still the crazy one, though, aren't I? Definitely a good choice to not hit her..
FWIW: Inside my own therapy, that compulsion to "...get them before they get me" is the pulse of my hyper-vigilance. Whether I am rejecting before I can be rejected, acting out my intercontinental (literally) flight pattern, lashing out randomly plotting revenge, or sabotaging my own successes before I have to suffer the fall, it is all manifestations of my hyper-vigilance. Alas, accepting that doesn't make it allot easier to channel the manifestations. . . It is still hard work, but gets me directed toward more effective strategies.