Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

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fist fight

lllovelyrecovery
lllovelyrecovery
Tonight, a female who claimed she was a friend of my brother's stole money from us. Since being abused and trying to recover, I find myself with a lot of anger. The moment someone does something against me, I plot revenge. I prepare to pounce like a lion after its prey. Kinda like trying to get them before they get you.
She kept telling me to fight her. She's on parole and I told her I'm not about to let her get away with threats or stealing, and that I'm calling her officer.
She kept screaming threats at me and told me she was going to hurt me (I won't use the words she did)
Honestly all I want to do is take her down. I don't know where it came from but I feel violent. I want her to get hurt.
I'm now safe in my bed but I cant shake this awful feeling of anger and disgust and sadness?
So much anger. I don't know how to handle this,
Rizen
Rizen
Can you punch a pillow? You did the right thing by calling the officer. Hitting her could get you in trouble too.
Writing out my anger or ranting helps me manage it.
LeoX3
LeoX3
Pillows are awesome substitutes for me, and can also be safely kicked. Glad you called the police. You can also buy cheap terrao cotta pots (the little ones) and use a hammer to smash 'em if the pillow won't work, just wear eye protection and do it outside where you can't step on pieces. (Words of experience there.)
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
Yes, do anything you can to vent that anger in any other way but the provocation she's inviting you to. When there's a fight, those of us labeled with PTSD get the worst of it afterwards. No matter how much it was the other person's fault, we're the "crazy" ones and the stigma sticks us with the blame, no matter how unfair. It's a reputation that's hard to live down after it gets applied to one of us.

Break stuff in private, burn her in effigy in your back yard, hate her guts. But it's really good of you that you had the presence of mind not to accept her invitation into a fight with her. That right there shows how you're really the mentally healthy party in this conflict. You proved yourself. Good for you!
TenativeOne
TenativeOne
You most likely have a build up of adrenaline in the body & the negative emotions are not helping. Way to be!! holding your own... you could have taken her down, but took a better route instead... let the authorities deal with the nonsense. Some of the suggestions by the others, are good as well... writing, punching pillows... I find exercise, nice bath and sit down with my favourite food and movie helps... sleep is always a good activity too. :)
lllovelyrecovery
lllovelyrecovery
Thank you for your replies. I took a hot shower and wrote in my journal and it helped a bit. I'm still trying to bring myself to a comfortable level... I'm less angry than I was for sure. Its just kind of gnawing at me! I'm just gonna have to move forward and take care of me and forget it all (right after I call her parole officer!)
It really makes me sad that having PTSD gives us a bad reputation. The stigma hurts.. Especially because I actually managed to be pretty reasonable in this situation! I'm still the crazy one, though, aren't I? Definitely a good choice to not hit her..
freefrompain2015
freefrompain2015
I am proud of you to not play into that. Anger and rage are hard to deal with, with PTSD. I find the same way. It can be hard to control. I have certain people I won't look at because I know I'd lose it. I'm glad you didn't get hurt. I know with all my health problems I couldn't win against my over weight dog. Controling your anger is one of the hardest things to do. Their isn't any magic formula to it. It's about finding a safe way to deal with it. I try to take my mind off what is bugging me, by doing something I enjoy. Venting to my wife. After a few days I find my self not dweling on it so much.
arfie
arfie
Kudos for looking for other ways to handle it, Illov. Sounds like you are already well on your way to finding ways to help you through. Keep up the good work.

FWIW: Inside my own therapy, that compulsion to "...get them before they get me" is the pulse of my hyper-vigilance. Whether I am rejecting before I can be rejected, acting out my intercontinental (literally) flight pattern, lashing out randomly plotting revenge, or sabotaging my own successes before I have to suffer the fall, it is all manifestations of my hyper-vigilance. Alas, accepting that doesn't make it allot easier to channel the manifestations. . . It is still hard work, but gets me directed toward more effective strategies.
52yrs2long
52yrs2long
You did great by not allowing yourself getting drawn into a no win situation. I am a delivery driver and I find myself sometimes screaming at all of the idiot drivers who are texting and driving or cutting me off because I am in a truck. But I know that is all I can do is scream to myself. I would lose my job if people called into my company and complained about me. Ad road rage incidents never end well, so I just behave myself. You got some really good advice here from good people. I hope it all gets straightened out.
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