Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

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Muskoka007 04/10/2017

I am feeling vuneralbe from this last sagga with my narcissitic freind of 20 years. I am relieved not to take care of all her needs, but boy when I backed away she sure has been trying to manipulate me as my therapist warned. I am not good at conflict and have the disease to please. She has pulled out all her tricks and spread around town that I am awful. My crime, we were to spend 3 days together and I asked her to come to my place Tuesday morning instead of Monday night?? Thats it.

Today she wants her ticket, last week no, tomorrow something else. I blocked her on my phone. I sent her half of money for the airbnb and sent her money for MLB ticket. She texted and said she wanted to sell it as I had not emailed her, her ticket yet. OMG the game is tomorrow at 7pm!! I emialed her today at 2;00pm. After I emailed her ticket I realized I did not send it in proper format. Not a PDF file so it is not valid. So then I emailed her the money, feeling very scared as she is like my Mom and my abuser, alwasy changing the game. Now I am waiting to see her do something. :(

SunCloudJD 04/10/2017

If she's a narcissist she could well be abusive sweetie.... Gentle hug..... I would cut contact completely.... This is just ugly on her part.......xo

mujicaptsd 04/10/2017

I had that trouble you know about last summer with my best friend's wife, a narcissist who caused me lots of trouble when I was a guest in their home. Narcissists just don't do boundaries, they have to be drawn for them and stuck to. So sorry you're experiencing this pushing going on. It's exhausting, I know. Much support to you.

Muskoka007 04/11/2017

Thanks Dooo, SC and Muji, you are saying what I am thinking but needed to hear it as growing up with narcissistic mom it brings it back and then I get scared and doubt what I am doing. I did hear that DOO, Narcissistic Victim Syndrome, I just happened to google that this weekend. Sounds like me, I have surrounded myself with narcissistic friends (not all though), husband and at work.

arfie 04/11/2017

Is her Narcissism professionally diagnosed? Just wondering. . . "Narcissism" is one of those dx'es which confuse me mightily. One of many. Doesn't seem like it could be as common as casual conversation implies, but. . . I just a patient. I confuse easily and often. Sigh.

Back to you. . .

Sorry to hear about the loss of a friend. Hope healing happens here. . .

Zoe 04/11/2017

I wouldn't worry about stories she spreads as everybody else likely knows she's narcicisstic and what she's like. Just back away and let her go.

Leo 04/11/2017

Oh big hugs. Big big hugs. My dad was a "malignant narcissist" (manipulative was a good day with him), so I do know.... THey hate letting go. Oh do they ever. Big puma purrs and power to you!

I have done my best to avoid people who cross into actual "narcissistic" territory, but .... Yeah. And y'know what? My sis would spread stories that got *me* beat up. So... You're not alone. Imagine you're inside an egg, okay, and it's an egg of glass, you can see out but it's mirrored, so nobody can see in until you say it's okay. Nobody gets in. Everything they hurl at you, you just imagine bouncing right back to them.... I used this for years before I was ever in therapy and it does help, I promise. If you want to go serious visualization, you can turn your egg into a spaceship with all luxuries. Whatever. Just .... I wish I'd had a normal relationship with my dad and sis. I didn't. I can't fix that by being around those kinds of people *now*. Or ever.... Into the egg!

Or you can put them into the egg and kick it into the trash. Whichever:-)

Muskoka007 04/11/2017

Thank you, good advice Zoe. Arfie, that is my unproffesional diagnosis but I have dealt with narcissistic behaviour from my Mom for years in counselling. I am seeing it more now, less detail. She has had a few falling out with friends these last few months, she is always right though and manipulates well

MichelleTNT 04/17/2017

Hi Muskoka007,

Setting boundaries in a friendship can be really difficult, especially after so many years. Have you tried speaking to a counselor or trusted friend? I'm praying for you as you take next steps toward healthy friendships.

Muskoka007 04/18/2017

Thanks Michelle, I did talk with my therapist about this and it was very helpful, plus another close friend that said my ex friend was too much drama....I let her read the texts

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