Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

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feeling oddly accomplished

neocortex27
neocortex27
I am very good at suppressing my emotions, to the point that I can't even identify some of them anymore. Whenever I get emotional or am in a situation where I should be, this part of me just shuts down. It's like a reflex, I can't really control it.

Which is what I am trying to work on.

So, I've never cried from a movie or a TV-show even when everyone else is because the emotional part of me just shuts itself off long before that can happen (I rarely cry at all, except from physical pain. The last time I cried because of emotions was about a year and a half ago. Anyway, getting off track here.)

Today was the first time I cried from that kind of stuff, I actually managed to keep myself from emotionally shutting down. Now I somehow feel rediculously accomplished. Just a small step, but it's something.

The rest of my life is still an absolute mess though. (Meh. I really should practise that positive-thinking thing.)
52yrs2long
52yrs2long
That Is a wonderful accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself. If you can continue to open up, crying is a great release. I need to do the same thing. I know I have an Olympic size swimming pool of tears just below the surface. I can get a couple drips here and there, but I want to open the darn faucet wide open and let it rip, but I just can't seem to find the handle. Keep it going one thing at a time.
arfie
arfie
Neo, meet Neo. May it be a long and passionate relationship.

The first step is always the hardest. That is, indeed, an impressive accomplishment, made all the more impressive BECAUSE the rest of your life is a mess. If the rest of your life was neat and tidy, I'd be a-shrugging like a lady engineer at a high heel convention.

And. . .

You already are practicing that positive thinking thing. Yea, you put yourself down, but ya remembered and reminded yourself. Small steps, Neo. Congratulate yourself for a job well-done. Do something to celebrate to add some positive reinforcement.
LeoX3
LeoX3
That's great:-) OMG, that's awesome! Eh, so life's a mess--- that's okay. You're expressing! That's wonderful:-) Sorry to gush, but I know how great I feel when I can cry. It was forbidden me for so long.

Take it one small thing and one small moment at a time....
aurora76
aurora76
Neo, this is great news. Crying is good. I never thought I'd say that, but it is. And now that you've started, you know you can do it. You will begin to release all the trauma and pent up emotions, and then your life will start to straighten out. Small steps... and keep celebrating the steps, however small they may seem. You are starting to let go of a destructive pattern of suppressing your emotions, and good things will come of it.
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
I'm so glad! It makes me happy for you, and for myself, too. Dissociating has been one of the hardest symptoms for me with PTSD. It helped me survive lots of trauma, but it left me disconnected from my own feelings. I got a doctorate in literature because I wanted to feel, I've done tons of therapy, all kinds of stuff. And I do feel. But sometimes I don't feel on cue like others who don't have PTSD.

Thanks for this great news!
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