So glad for you:-)

I'm happy for you too : )

A very courageous move! Congrats on the courage to face your fear head on and it is so wonderful a witness was there to help you with this.

I hope this frees you and provides a base for recovery for you.

I'm jealous. It does sound like an immensely healing experience.

But my jealousy isn't getting in the way of my being happy for you. That is awesome!!

You are very inspirational muji...!!! Way to go...!!!

For my exposure therapy today, my buddy went with me to a place in my neighborhood where a bombing happened near my house. It was great to have him along. Then he went with my old high school with me and we talked good old memories and took a lot of pictures.

Everybody here has been as nice and supportive as you've been. Only one guy, a cab driver who asked me where I lived (the USA) let me know he thought I was a Yankee imperialist. Not that I don't get his political point of view. If we really had had a dialogue, we'd probably agree on major points concerning the shortcomings of US foreign policy. But of course, that wasn't where he was headed.

So I shocked him by pulling a hospital chaplain move from my days working in the ER. To de-escalate an insult from a patient who was worked up and wanted to pick a fight, we'd surrender and change the subject at the same time. So I told this guy, no, my problem isn't that I'm a Yankee Imperialist. It's that I'm just an asshole regardless of my nationality, and I don't know how to talk to people--just ask my ex wife.

Of course, no, the reason I got a divorce was more complicated like that, but you should have seen this guy. He had a whole political argument scripted for us, and I snatched away the script and asked him to feel sorry for me for just being a loser and schmuck.

It was hilarious.

Anyway, that wasn't my day. It's been wonderful here. Tomorrow my traveling companion and I leave by bus for Brazil for his part of our trip at a conference. It's been great. We said goodbye to the waitress at the bar next door to our hotel, and when we went to give her a farewell handshake, she gave us each of hug instead. Very sweet.

Thanks for your daily support as I've gone through this week confronting my old PTSD places. Be well, everybody.

Well done, Muji. I hope the conference goes as well.

Amen. What a blessing, my friend.

HAH!
I will totally have to try that if I get in a confrontational situation.
I'm glad your trip is going well, meester.

(((BIG FAT HUG)))

Another good day of travel. We took a bus out of town across the countryside and saw a total a 5 wild, native ostriches by the road. They're cousins of the African ones, just a little shorter, but full blown ostriches. It was great to see them.

I took a break from any exposure therapy today and did some reflection. I'm learning a lot. One thing I'm realizing is how solitary I usually am. My friend joined me Wed. It's Sat., and that's the longest I've spent in close quarter with another human being in four years. I really like it, but I also feel too much of a good thing coming on with my PTSD too. Like I need some alone time. I'm going to have to figure out how to be honest without being insulting to a friend whose gone not just an extra mile for, but an extra 6,000 miles for me.

Suggestions very welcome. I'm not good at it, being Mr. Fight or Flight response from my PTSD.

How do we do that?

I have always needed my alone time on any trip with friends or family... Don't feel badly about this it is natural for us PTSDers, lol.

Maybe kindly say to your friend that you greatly appreciate him being with you on this healing journey and that because of him it has been a lot easier for you to be here doing this exposure therapy. And then say that you need some time to process what you have been through, you could maybe go for a walk to take a breather of find yourself on a nice grassy space and rest for a time... Or if you want the hotel room to yourself I would ask if it was okay of you meditated for 30 minutes or so and if maybe he could go for a walk?

For me getting a 10-20 minute walk by myself can really make a big difference... If I'm on vacation with others I usually make this walk a ritual either once or twice a day... Always before bedtime as that seems to be the best time to process

I'm sending you comforting hugs

I have that issue with my beloved hubby at times. He sees my PTSD about to kick into high gear and wants to be SuperHubby and cuddle, etc.--- but what I need is time and space to breathe down and calm down and think down. (I might cry on his shoulder later, mind you....)

In your case, you might want to simply tell the friend that with all these memories in your head, you could use a long nap---and he could spend some time sightseeing or relaxing himself after so much travel. If that isn't applicable, there's always the reliable, "Hey, you've been awesome, so I arranged this treat for you" (a bus tour or similar) "So you can experience Uruguay as a tourist and not just my parts of it." That has so far worked well on any of my Polish fam who come down from Canada and, because my one cousin lives near DC, stay with him and he needs a break from playing "host".... so he sends them on a bus tour of the monuments etc. or the national museums.

Being graceful while feeling Fight Flight or Freeze is *never* easy.... even if you don't have PTSD, IMO...

You could also be honest and just say, "This is my PTSD building up... there's some great stuff to see whiel I spend some time in meditation." But I know that's vulnerability-laden, so skip it if you want.

Gentle hugs and so glad you're having a good time.:-)

Thanks for reassuring me that I'm not a neurotic selfish egomaniac. I'm very grateful to have this lifelong friend along to witness my healing, but I am still in the process of healing. That means it's not all finished yet, and I just need breaks to rest and lighten up.

After what you wrote, I felt confident enough to tell him directly that I needed some "me" time, and he wasn't offended.

Thanks for the guidance and for coming up along side me on this.

Be well, all. We're in Brazil tonight.

Muji

I LOVED Brazil. They were so nice about my pidgin Portuguese, I just had the greatest talks with the friendliest people even though I speak it at a kindergarten level.

Had to take the bus back to Uruguay today, though. On overnight stop to Montevideo, where I catch my flight out to USA.

Getting ready for the anticlimax to hit. Anybody know how to deal with those?

Caught a cold, too. It's chilly winter rainy weather down here.

As the Buddhist master once said to his student, "after the ecstasy, the laundry."

As a pilot in life, I'm better at take-offs than I am in landings, know what I mean?

Any suggestions welcome.

Hope you're all well.

Muji

Take offs are easier than landings for me, too. For one thing, the clothes in the suitcase are clean at take off... Good saying, "After the ecstasy, the laundry." Its metaphorical content is as meaty as its literal content.

My advice would be to let the licensed pilot handle the landing and wait until you get home before you start the laundry. I hate it when I have to wait for somebody to finish their laundry before I get to use the airplane bathroom.