I understand fear...

I understand the concept of "everything"...

I hear what you are saying... I just want you to know I can relate...

You are not alone...

Fear does not exist to make us afraid. Fear exists to make us aware of danger. -Zen proverb

When I find myself in a state of constant fear, I watch my absolutes. All. Everything. Ever. Never. Always. Etc., etc. Inside my strictly personal skin, that constant fear is a signal that I have slid into the Ever Never Land between my ears and need to rejoin the organic world.

When I am able to keep myself grounded in the physical world, my fear is nothing more than a car alarm that sometimes starts screeching at a stiff wind. Check for danger, just in case, then push the "disarm" button on my keychain. Onward through the noise and the haste.

For many reasons I fear large groups of people. I have been finally able to take in small doses. It is easier when the groups are like minded. Such as a class or seminar. I enjoy home and Garden shows because everyone's vibe during demonstrations are all positive. Art shows and now some of the classes I attended and will start shortly again.
Look at what you like or are interested in and make small ventures to things surrounding the ideas. The onus is not on you to be the center of attention, but common subject afford the small tall with one or two on a mutual shared interest.
Right now in our area today is an organic garden presentation. You could try something like that?

Check community events calender for your city and Public school district since they have a lot of off hour programs.

This is a hard one, but small steps, where you can leave at will are a good start. Plus you get some new input to clang around in your brain!

When terrified, I make myself get angry and cop an attitude. Then I start talking out loud to my fear.

"What right do you have to come in here and try to screw with my head...AGAIN?! I don't freakin' think so! Get out here! Let me get a hold of you!" Etc.

Most of the time this works for me.

Hugz

I do whatever I can to soothe myself that isnt self damaging. Sometimes that means just curling up with a show cause thats all I can handle. Or a game. Uh. Try and breathe. Recently Ive been learning more about healing crystals....

I think when I fear everything, the root of that is that I'm now fearing myself most of all. And so it colors my whole world.

When you've had what society calls in layman's terms a "breakdown" or been committed to a hospital for PTSD because you are no longer functional, that fear that life can come to a screeching halt and cave in on you is for a reason. It's not just paranoia when it has really happened.

That's why restoring self confidence to me has been deliberate work. It's slow, but I have to trust myself enough to speak up. First, with a therapist, then with a support group like this. Finding out I have something to say and that it often makes sense helps me make decisions for myself. It helps me get over the fear that I can't take care of myself.

That's how it's worked for me. Fearing myself was the worst, because there's nowhere to run to. I couldn't let myself be paralyzed by fear of self forever. Keep coming here. It helped restore my confidence in self day by day.

Thanks everyone!! You guys have helped me see things I would not. I have a chance to go in the VA Psych ward and get my meds straight, learn some coping exercises, find some groups etc. But it is the same Ward I went to many years ago when I could no longer take my head anymore. Back than PTSD was often shunned, misunderstood, and often mis-diagnosed. Let's just say that it was not a pleasant experience and I was not lifted up but beaten down. Therefore I am really weary of going back there. Even though people and times have changed I can not help but feel history will repeat itself. However I can not go on like this without proper meds, therapy, groups, etc. Alone I have tried for about 20 years. Add about five more years after I was diagnosed and gave up on meds and VA outpatient Now everything is running together. So Any ideas or comments will be greatly appreciated.

we are terrified of so much. (refusing to use the generality words) with very good reasons to be so. living as a being subjected to trauma a great deal of our life (abuse sets the patterns for many years into our journey) we get really really scared of stuff like people, emotions, praise, toothpicks....

we had an incendent not long after college where a reporter did an article on us in the local paper where we lived. the reason- we can talk to spirits, read cards, ect. it came out. yeah.... there were some threats of various kinds including the deathy kind. (now granted there's the whole suicide thing we have trouble with but..) anyway, that fear that hate made us so mad that when its really bad we remember it and know they would win and can't let that happen.

It is WAAAAYYYYYY too much GLORIOUS DELIGHT Pissin Those Haters Off!!!!!!

Thanks Jenny If it is possible for me to be positive I feel this will be better this time.

I'm in that condition now: fear. What am I doing?
Fear does not come from God; I pray
I try to trust God, hard but doable
I take a Xanax once a day if needed
I talk to my therapist if I'm really freaking out
I try to tell myself that "this too shall pass"
I try to remember that even the most horrible thing that happened to me, and it was beyond horrible, is somehow being used by God to bring me to the place I need to be.
And then I watch Netflix LOL