Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
Today I wound up trigger very badly by the sound to my husband hammering a the carpet tack strips he was trying to remove. I could not stand the sound. I went back emotionally to the 9 yr me. I was terrified, crying, and wanted to say "NO." I almost collapsed to the floor. I saw only a few bit of images. My mom's house was being remodeled at the time and the contractor was there every weekday. I felt like I need to remember his name but couldn't. I had to take Xanax to stop the flashback. I spent hours trying to find the name, searching the internet. First I remembered his first name , Pat. Then I remembered his wife was a beautician that my mom had made me go to a few times. I even asked my cousin but she couldn't remember. I knew he was Italian, so was my abusive stepfather. I still dislike Italian guys to this day (sorry they can trigger me). I finally remembered his full name was Pat Chemelle. I think that is the correct spelling. The name and thoughts of him bother me. I am afraid that something happened and my mind buried it deep. I can't see is face, it terrifies me. I know I have to face this but it is terrorizing me. I don't know how I am going to get over this.
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My day...today...misplaced my debit card...didn't realize it until I got to the register after shopping to a full cart. Used a different debit card and pulled apart everything looking for missing debit card before I left parking lot. Got home, dropped keys. So now I have a missing debit card, missing keys. A full cartload to unload and put away. I got everything put away.Dumped purse for a...
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I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
I think is very wise you have a med for when triggers are so trong like this.
Remember recovery is a process and it takes time, lots of it......
I have been thinking about it today. The Flashback came with the sound of the hammering. I saw him in the house but not his face. I was sitting in the living room that was torn up for the remodeling. Plastic sheeting all around. I don't think I was going to school that day- was eating breakfast too late to be at school on time. Think I was already dressed for the day. I don't usually have visual flashbacks, most are sounds and emotions. But once I saw him in the kitchen I started to cry and shake. My legs got weak and I was terrified. I think I remember him walking toward the living room but the visual stopped after that. The terror was still there. I was mumbling no. I felt so compelled after it was over to find his name (my brain refused to help) I spent over 4 hrs. hunting for clues. When I did find it, I started to shake and cry. Then name still gives me nausea. That time of my life has been a blank except for the times at school or at my cousin's. I think something did happen but I still do not remember what. I will need to remember more before I know if it involved him. I do remember one other thing. At that time I dressed like a little boy as much as possible, because I wished I was a boy instead of a girl.
Relax your way through it, and keep your mind in safe mode.
Recovery for healing takes time, determination, and acceptance to forgive our selves.
Please know you are not alone through this.