So here I am, suffering in silence once again. I escaped from my ex husband 4 years ago which left me with PTSD, MDD, and Fibromyalgia. Like a complete idiot i married another man in 2009 and embarked on a ride that I'm still trying to get off of. He left me all alone on a mountain, no less, in Washington state in April '10, with no money and no way to take care of myself. My mom flew me to Kansas City, and I stayed there until June when this idiot convinced me he loved me and to come with him to Illinois where he was living in his parents basement. So, I went, and soon found out that his parents not only hated me, but tried everything in the book to get me out. Of course my husband did not stand up for me at all. They then took away his car keys....he's 52 years old. So we had no way to get around. My social security finally kicked in and I was able to scrape up the money to fly back to the NW to get my truck and my dogs. They all hugged me at the airport, told me they loved me and would see me in a few days. Well....2 days into my drive, his dad left me a voicemail telling me not to come back, I was'nt welcome, and if I came back there would be trouble. So, I again went to my moms in Kansas City. WHAT A NIGHTMARE! For 2 months she hammered away at how stupid I was and brought up everything I ever did wrong going back to birth. I retreated into my room and withdrew from the conflict. Then out of the blue one day, my sister in law came over and started screaming at me about me not being socialable. She triggered all of my PTSD symptoms....I asked her to leave several times but she continued on her tyraid. So I told her I didn't have to take this and was going to call the cops. I picked up the phone, she grabbed it away from me, so I went for my cell, and she took that too. By now the terror I felt was unexplainable. I finally got to a phone and got the numbers dialed and she took off out the door. The police told her not to come back. So while I was trying to pull myself together, all of a sudden my brother kicked in the door. Terror was all I felt. I knew I had to run. I also knew there was nowhere to run to. I called a man I only knew from the internet and he said I could come to his house. So I ran. Now after being here a few months, I am terrified that if he gets tired of me, I will have nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. I have looked at my bottles of pills so many times. I feel like it is the end of the road for me. I'm unloved and unwanted even in my own family. I know I am nearing the end of my rope....too much has happened and I'm really tired. Nobody has even tried to figure out where I am...my husband, my mom, nobody. I don't exist. It's the worse feeling and I just can't deal with it anymore.