Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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about a month and a half ago i cut contact between my daughter and the only "dad" she has ever known. he is the nicest man in the world, but also lazy, and has an inability to plan or remain financially responsible. i dont know if i have done the right thing. He also decided he didnt want to be friends with me, he said he didnt want any of my drama, and only wanted to see her every other weekend, and did not wish to speak to me unless it pertained directly to ariyah. deleted me off facebook. Now i have trouble finding a solid sitter, i am a single mom in college and i had one cancel and needed to take a test that day. i asked him to watch her for the couple hours, said i was desparate. he said no. he had plans. it wasnt his day.
he got all out of shape thinking i was trying to sabotage his date, though i didnt even know he had one. so i was like fine. i cant do this. you cant be a sometimes dad. either you are there for us, or you arent. because he isnt her biological dad, i say we HAVE to be friends. we HAVE to be close, cause she already has a douche bag bio dad who she has no clue exists and lives down the road. but he doesnt want to be friends with me, because my boyfriend that i have had on and off for over a year got in a fight with him because he had the gas bill and phone bill in his name and didnt pay either which sent me to collections and caused my paycheck to be garnished.
NOW my daughter has made inclinations that someone has touched her inappropriately, with a fun "game"
im at a loss for words. i dont think it was him, hell, i dont think it was anyone, i dont know, i find out more tuesday at a dr appt. im not sure how to deal wiht it. she is only 3. and lately she wants her "daddy"
i told him this is exactly why we have to be friends, cause at this point, if he had been seeing her...
i dont know. im so confused right now, between my relationships and between whats going on with my baby girl, if anything at all. the PTSD crap is kicking in... its hard to see straight. so hard. and the BF i have now, we were broken up for a while, he is sticking with me, through my anger, through me being upset and just sitting there, through it all. he says he loves me and just cause im unhappy doesnt mean he is going to leave, he says ill be happy again and he believes in me.
last time someone believed in me i ended up here practically for a month straight. i just cant trust anyone anymore... and the stuff with my baby girl... ill never know who it was for sure if anything happened at all... my poor baby girl. fortunately, she will never know that something is wrong, that is my burden to carry.
i dont know... apparently she stood up at the breakfast table at her aunties house, randomly, and started talking about a game, dropped her pants, and said and then this is where hte pencils go and it hurts but is alot of fun.... i took her to the ER and going to a specialist on tuesday. ugh. so much to deal with, and then i still have to go to school and work, and both of those are suffering because of my emotional state lately.
he got all out of shape thinking i was trying to sabotage his date, though i didnt even know he had one. so i was like fine. i cant do this. you cant be a sometimes dad. either you are there for us, or you arent. because he isnt her biological dad, i say we HAVE to be friends. we HAVE to be close, cause she already has a douche bag bio dad who she has no clue exists and lives down the road. but he doesnt want to be friends with me, because my boyfriend that i have had on and off for over a year got in a fight with him because he had the gas bill and phone bill in his name and didnt pay either which sent me to collections and caused my paycheck to be garnished.
NOW my daughter has made inclinations that someone has touched her inappropriately, with a fun "game"
im at a loss for words. i dont think it was him, hell, i dont think it was anyone, i dont know, i find out more tuesday at a dr appt. im not sure how to deal wiht it. she is only 3. and lately she wants her "daddy"
i told him this is exactly why we have to be friends, cause at this point, if he had been seeing her...
i dont know. im so confused right now, between my relationships and between whats going on with my baby girl, if anything at all. the PTSD crap is kicking in... its hard to see straight. so hard. and the BF i have now, we were broken up for a while, he is sticking with me, through my anger, through me being upset and just sitting there, through it all. he says he loves me and just cause im unhappy doesnt mean he is going to leave, he says ill be happy again and he believes in me.
last time someone believed in me i ended up here practically for a month straight. i just cant trust anyone anymore... and the stuff with my baby girl... ill never know who it was for sure if anything happened at all... my poor baby girl. fortunately, she will never know that something is wrong, that is my burden to carry.
i dont know... apparently she stood up at the breakfast table at her aunties house, randomly, and started talking about a game, dropped her pants, and said and then this is where hte pencils go and it hurts but is alot of fun.... i took her to the ER and going to a specialist on tuesday. ugh. so much to deal with, and then i still have to go to school and work, and both of those are suffering because of my emotional state lately.
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Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
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My day...today...misplaced my debit card...didn't realize it until I got to the register after shopping to a full cart. Used a different debit card and pulled apart everything looking for missing debit card before I left parking lot. Got home, dropped keys. So now I have a missing debit card, missing keys. A full cartload to unload and put away. I got everything put away.Dumped purse for a...
I'm reaching through the computer to give you hugs and reassure you that we care and support you through this. I am proud of you for acting and taking her to the E.R. and seeing a specialist on Tuesday.
As to your ex, I don't think he is much of a Dad. He may not be the biological Dad, but he has been the Dad that your daughter has known. To have her be with him and then spend so much time on the phone with his girlfriend is just insane. He has to be mature and place boundaries on himself when this little girl is with him and she deserves his attention. That he isn't phoning her speaks volumes.
I hope that you can find out everything you need to know involving your daughter. In the meantime, known we care. Hugs.
I thought it was weird that he doesnt phone her either. he just doesnt want a part of me that much. he has it in his head that i MADE my boyfriend beat him up and that i am dangerous to him, but he still wants her in his life. over a month has gone by, and he has not asked once to speak with her, or called to see how she is doing, and I actually, have made numerous attempts to talk with him and get it sorted out, but i cant get past his opinion of me, so i give up. i dont like to be patronized, and there are already too many people in my daughters life that are actual family that could care less about me. parenting is a team effort, and since her real dad isnt there, i have the choice to who plays that role. she is such a good little girl. she really is. i hope nothing happened to her, but i have no idea why she would say such a thing that she did.
thank you for your support. so much. im so lost right now. i have so many people in my life that are unhealthy and i have been trying to cut them out, but some people just dont go away ya know?
Hugs Dracona. Small steps and lots of deep breaths. There is no easy answer. Only your best effort and the knowledge that you are not alone.
Your ex sounds like he wants cameo appearances in your daughter's life that work on his timetable not yours. I'm not sure if you can do anything about making him stick to an agreement as he is not the bio dad, right? Do you have any friends that have kids that you could swap child care with? I once knew a single mom that ended up moving in with another single mom so that they could help each other out as they worked and went back to school.
Many hugs to you, I hope that you get some answers and some more support from the other people in your daughter's life.
Now, I know where you are at and my heart goes out to you. The best you can do it hope the Dr finds something, MAKE SURE IT IS PUT IN THE FILE & DOCUMENTED, then take measures against the beast that did this to her.
It is important, even at 3, that she deal with this. Life has a way of coming back and getting you in the back. Ain't that what we've learned with PTSD? Not saying she will have PTSD, but saying it's the past that can come back if not healed properly in our emotions.
You have so much going on right now I have no doubt the PTSD symptoms are running wild. Try and ground yourself in the here and now as best you can. Take care by eating, and trying to sleeping.
Know we are here and we support you.