Then move, go to your DHS and apply for assistance, get your counseling. It won't be easy, but many here started on their own even earlier. While you are in school they are still financially responsible for you, the DHS will charge them child support to offset your living and counseling costs. But " I don't I won't I can't" will hurt you more than anything else.

You seem to want to run in a circle on leaving their support and the amenities they pay for, but it's hurting you more to stay. I lived in my car for my reason to just live, you can do this better on your own that stuck there. We are not professional help, neither is the youth Councillor you talked to, or the other person he talked to. A real councilor will get you help to get set up on your own in a safe place for healing, they network with DHS for patients just like you.
Putting it off and disnissing the suggestions and help here from us is hard to accept. Since many here have fought through the darkest places and situations to heal ourselves. I want you to heal, not just exist in pain.

Jewells

"That's why I'm waiting till I move out", you told me that you don't plan on this for years, but that is where you do the most damage to you. I know right now that your parents are limiting your FB times, that is their prerogative, they pay the bill. Also if they feel it is in your best interest. But if you pay for your own service or utilize public, like library's they can't use that as a control.
You have spent a year hiding this behind non-truths and avoidance, where they are concerned. Thereby adding to your own guilt and shame, the only one in the long run to pay for that is you. So now is the time not 2-3 years from now. Go to a women's center schedule your counseling and.. Don't tell mom, this is for you not her. You don't need her permission anymore, to get this done.
J.

What's DHS? And what you mean running in circles on leaving? But if I try to do that she'll ask where I'm going and be nosy. The only way is when I move out.

the sooner you seek cpunseling, the better for YOU.
you have many options for finding help.... local shelters, local health delartments may even have a referral service, etc.... support groups thru hospitals, clinics, shelters.... take the step or not.... that is in YOUR power.

But I'm afraid that any move I make that isn't what my mom wants will make her mad. I try to avoid that.

In answer to your thread title. No it doesn't if you don't do the work.
Also what you have been through, parents, cyber dink and general teenage angst, fear of flying on your own...Can add up to a lot of things. Anxiety, panic fear are all symptoms of many disorders but not always PTSD. That by not going for proper care ,counseling, psychologist? and diagnosis' what ever it may be, makes a difference on types treatment and ultimate outcomes.

As I said before we are not doctors. We can support you in steps you take, but if you won't/don't help yourself....then the only thing you do is cause anxiety with long posts like this. Where every comment to help is turned away, with a reason you won't try. When you aren't wanting to try for your best to help you, what support do you think we can give? We are patients too. Patients as many of are in active or maintenance treatment.

You are too young and really do need the help of a professional councilor. We can't do that for you. But if and when you make those steps we can help support you. A PTSD diagnosis has many factors, and is done with a doctor, not by guess. True it can be suspected given some circumstances, be even then some never get to that point. When those symptoms are caught and treated faster the outcome for healing is greater before it gets to PTSD, than after it sets for a few years. You need to seek that help.
This post is running just the same as the other one. I will be honest as far as I am concerned now, you are very draining on support that I am happy to give to the many here I see going through the steps to help themselves. Because you answer each offer of help with reason not to try.

You mother? Move away, that's the end of her influence. Get your help you need.

I know I need to do something and I want to do something but I'm just afraid to do something. :'(

Everyone is afraid of the new and different. But courage is the ability to try even if you are in fear. Being that for yourself is a sign of growing up.

True, that. What Jewells said: "it doesn't go away unless you do the work." But the work is worth it.

I'm on the verge of tears. I know I need help. I want it. But I'm afraid to go get it because I'm afraid it'll anger my mom. I'm at a loss here. I just want to curl up in a corner and cry. What have I done to myself? If I wasn't such a stupid, dumb, nave girl who was desperate for love if never have chatted with sharron and he'd never have hurt me. Along with the other guys who threatened to take my life. ((((Cries and screams))))))

I can't say much I haven't said, so I'll just add this.

NEVER WHAT IF THE PAST.

NEVER.

The past is gone, done, over. The only thing you can do is ask "What if?" about the future---and my therapy has taught me (imperfectly as I am first to admit, alas) to go ahead and answer it. What if Mom finds out? What if I don't get help?.... WHat if I DO get help? What if I ask for help at XYZ place instead of ABC? And answer it.... Mom will .... fill in blank. I will.... fall apart. I will....get better... I might find... help at XYZ.

It's kinda weird to me even now how the What-If bads on the future can be made into What-Ifs that can help you reclaim your present.

What I want to know is was I really that desperate? Have my parents really neglected that part of my life? The love part. I guess I'll never know nor will I ever forgive or love myself. I know it's not right but I've hated myself for years. Told someone recently that I was a mistake, an accident. That I don't belong here. Never have. I'll always be an outsider.

Seek the counseling any way you can---you may be surprised by what you find can trigger things like self-dislike etc. Do your best, and with respect, I need to drop off this thread---you're saying things to yourself my sister said to me and it's kinda raw for me this weekend what with a flashback.

But know you can do it and can heal and that there are options out there if you choose them.

Leo. I'm sorry. Gosh I'm stupid!!!!!