I'm going to lose a lot of Friends on the website for pointing this out, and I may even be kicked out. However, I feel I need to be frank. I know this may have been a horrible experience, but what part of this situation constitutes PTSD? I'm not judging you in anyway, I'm just curious. This is an extremely common situation, and you're extremely young. This is more common than you may think. I don't really think you're a "victim" per se, I just think you were a bit misguided in what you did. We all make mistakes. We learn and move on. Don't call yourself a "slut" or a "bitch." You're not. I have a completely different view on those terms, (considering the fact that I'm a feminist) but I'm not going to push my agenda on you. You seem like a sweet girl, and I'm not trying to pick on you or anything. Again...I'm not judging you, I'm just more curious to your situation.

Like all things beautiful, trauma is in the eye of the beholder.

You have a point.

Cat haven. I'm gonna b honest. That previous comment was really hurtful. Honestly. I can't say anything else. I'm in shock.

That's a smart thing to do.

Wishing you healing today.

Thank you. I'm curious what do I do about my nightmares.

Violet you are at a stage where you need to have a physician and a councilor. We can only do so much here. A physician can priscribe meds that will help with quelling the nightmares, a therapist will help with understanding and healing the cause.
You are 17, i understand your fear of your mothers reactions, but not to the detriment of your own personal mental health. She may blow...but your therapist will help you get past that too. You are boxing yourself in. With possible reactions she may have. ...But what you may not know , she may have herself been in simular shoes before you were born.

It is hard to grasp but she lived all the years you have now with the same fears and growing....before she became a mother.

How would mess help with nightmares. That confuses me

There are specific medicines that help quell the nightmares. Also calming techniques. Both better assessed in person. With the guidance of a qualified person. A Physician and Therapist. But you need to do those steps to start. We can't do that for you.

I know u can't. But I can't bring myself to get help. One thing about me is I don't like asking for help

That is hard...It is something you must do. If not mom, than a friends mother? Aunt? someone old enough to help you make the steps, guide you through them. Sooner than later.

Ok.

I really appreciate all you guys have done for me. I have had a rough year and the support means a lot to me.

You can also do this, right a brief note about what happened and how it's really bothering and effecting you, keep this note on your person so \It's in a safe place. Call or stop in at the guidance office at your school and just ask for an appointment since you want to talk about some career alternatives. By asking this you don't have to go through that fear that someone who doesn't need to know will find out, and it may be easier for you to do with this approach.

Then when you do see the counsellor you can tell them the real reason and if you're still in fear or shame about saying anything, just simply pass them that note. I did this years ago with a doc since I just couldn't bring myself to ask for help, but I got the help I needed, by sharing my note. Thinking back, it was one of the better things I did for myself. You CAN get through this, it just takes a few scary steps to start and down the line you'll thank yourself for taking those steps, Hang in There, Blaine